You are what you eat

If you are what you eat, then I’m nuts.  My aunt sent a forward with all sorts of twisted cartoons the other day.  She has such a wonderful sense of humor… a little twisted…but she can remember jokes like nobody’s business.  I remember when she and my father would get together on family visits; each one lobbing a joke back and forth like a tennis game.  I would get tennis neck turning from one to the other as they entertained us with the latest joke.  I was in awe that they could remember the joke AND the punch line.  That gene was not passed on to me.  I can either remember part of the joke or part of the punch line… never a full line.  I’m a lousy joke teller.  Seriously I can remember only one joke and it is not anything a preacher’s wife should repeat….so don’t ask me.  Getting back to the cartoons, one of them is by Reynolds Unwrapped.  Since I didn’t get his permission to post it here, you’ll have to look it up for yourself.  It shows a squirrel on the therapist’s couch saying “When I learned, ‘You are what you eat,’ I realized I was nuts.” 

That’s pretty much me.  I’m nuts about nuts.  I’m craving them like crazy.  Smokehouse almonds, peanuts, cashews, mixed nuts, you name it, I want it.  There is a strong possibility (ding dong!) I’ve substituted my grains for nuts!  Since I’m not munching on chips or popcorn anymore while watching my murder mysteries, the crunchy nuts are taking the grains’ place.  This is not making me a happy nut, er strawberry.  I AM seeing a pattern here—I need to be eating something while watching TV!  Let’s face it, anything in moderation like eating an ounce of nuts versus the whole dang jar is not all bad.  Correction: anything in moderation except drugs or texting while driving or cutting yourself…oh, I really don’t want to go here, Grainiacs, but you know what I mean.

So here is my solution…..drum roll please…..start beating on your desk if you’ve left your drum somewhere…..

Dieters have suggested doing something with your hands while watching TV so as not to eat.  Unfortunately I also didn't get the artist gene either; I need a compass and ruler to draw stick figures.  Man, I suck!  I can color and stay in the lines, though.  Whoo hoo!  So I am taking up coloring!  Crayons!  Colored pencils!  Anything office supply that is cute and shiny and pink and pretty; I love it!  My little rural Walmart doesn’t have the best selection of coloring books for a 50ish year young person but I did find a Lisa Frank coloring and activity book for $5.00.  If you’ve ever seen a Lisa Frank notebook, you’ll realize (as I just did) that she has lots of glitter in her work too.  Note to self: go back and buy glitter pens.  Of course I needed new crayons AND newly sharpened from the factory coloring pencils.  Why shan’t our own sharpeners sharpen as sharp as the shipper’s?  HA, say that fast.  I want one of those sharpeners!  Like I want a Sonic crunchy ice machine!  I’m not high maintenance, really!  Coloring and keeping my hands busy really worked.  I colored and created all over my L.F. coloring book.  Of course I missed key hints during the mystery but I was coloring to my little heart's content.  It felt good.  I posted my creation on the refrigerator.  If anyone asks, I'll say a neighbor child gave it to me!  Have you ever heard of quilting swaps?  Let's swap our coloring pages.  No!  I'm telling!!!!!

My To Do is now my Ta Da!

Notice my new purchase...grocery list and menu planner pad.  So cute!

 I told you; I LOVE office supplies.