Reality Check

I hope I’m not the only strawberry to hold my breath when I get one of those “here we go again: So and So's funny customer” forwards.  Do you know the ones I’m writing about?  Photos of people looking their worst while shopping?  I cringe when I see the subject line but I have to look and make sure my own fanny isn’t highlighted in that email.   And really; who are these people who have all this time to go all over town and/or country looking for corpulent derrieres just so they can draft an email and get a laugh or two?  Get a life!

I have to admit, I rarely get dressed up to go shopping.  I’m usually in the middle of my annual cleaning-fest when I realize I don’t have any cleaning supplies.  Who takes the time to get dressed up to buy toilet cleaner?  But being the crowning photo of such an email isn’t appealing either so while perusing the internet I decided that looking nice is not a bad thing!  “Look Nice” should NOT be thought of as a double 4-letter word, now should it?  Shouldn’t I look my best in case (heaven forbid) one of those photographers happened to be shopping in my little rural establishment?

Yesterday, I read on yahoo news that Sarah Hyland poked fun at Lea Michele’s “Red Carpet Pose.”  It seems Lea thrusts her shoulders forward and sticks out her collarbone to make herself look skinny.  She also puffs out her lips.  I guess the full-lipped look is still in fashion!  I had to see for myself what a red carpet pose looked like.  I think I may have found it….

                                         http://i.cocoperez.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/lea_michele_marie_claire_uk__oPt.jpg

Could I really achieve this?  Or maybe this one.....                        

 http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/melissa-mccarthy-designed-her-wildly-comfortable-emmys-dress-1642444.story?ocid=answw11

Can I just say:  Yay for Melissa McCarthy (I loved her on Gilmore Girls).  See, even hefty women can strike up a red carpet pose and look T-rific.

Dear Readers, I am going against my grain.  Doing things that don’t come naturally to me so you see, I have GOT TO start dressing for success.   I’m on my way out to Walmart now.  I want to look nice.  What do you think?  Did I nail it?  I hope so….. I sure don’t want to be in one of those funny forwarded “Walmart customer” emails!

Is that my collarbone or fat pockets?  I can't tell.