S-O-S

The problem with watching murder mysteries is you start to get a little paranoid—that is for this Scared Ole Strawberry!  Take Sunday morning, for instance.  Hubby and Son went early to church and left me alone to get ready.  What a luxury!  But did I enjoy my time alone….NO!  First thing, I go to get something out of my car and on my way back I notice there is a shovel by the front door.  A SHOVEL BY THE FRONT DOOR!!!!  It wasn’t there the day before.  In the last murder mystery I watched, one of the victims got knocked off by a shovel.  Remember, I’m watching a British show and everything takes place in the English countryside—there is always a shovel or some sort of gardening tool!  I thought to myself “don’t panic.”  Take the s.o.s. (stupid ole shovel) inside just in case someone is coming back for it!  I locked the front door (just in case) and continued getting ready for church.  Time came to let the dogs out for their one last hurrah before I left and what is lying on the carpet in front of the back door?  No, not the shovel but a pair of huge gardening loppers and I’m not talking about little shears; I’m telling you these bad boys can do some major limb damage.  By now my heart is beating so fast I’m afraid the dogs are going to have to do some heroic act on me and keep in mind they are the same dogs who let this intruder in IN THE FIRST PLACE.  Can I hear an “amen?”  Or at least a “woof woof?”

Once my heart began an even rhythm I realized Hubby had used them the week before during the men’s breakfast church clean-up.  You have to admire men who meet for a biscuit and sausage gravy breakfast and then tackle the manual labor!  Think about it, women.  What do we do after meeting the ladies for breakfast….why shop, of course!  That’s my kind of manual labor.  Okay, I know you are asking “Why in the h-e-double hockey sticks (we are talking about a Sunday so let’s watch the language!) did he leave a shovel by the front door and loppers by the back door?”  I’m asking the same question.  He’s been watching these murder mysteries right along with me; he should have put them by our bedside!  Seeing as how our weapon of defense has been the camera tripod, he should have realized after watching the British mysteries that he could hit the intruder over the head with the shovel while I lop off their trigger finger or baby toe.  What WAS my man thinking?

I guess you realize another scary event is coming up.  BOO!  Halloween is right around the corner.  It is also the time that every peanut butter cup/ almond joy/ baby ruth/ actually anything chocolate call out my name as I walk through the store.  Yes!  The candy aisle at the store can be scary if you are trying to lose weight.  Personally I’d rather stay home and find random gardening tools around my house than try to fight a chocolate battle.  But that’s just me.

I want to leave you with a happy thought.  I saw this on facebook today and just had to share with my favorite Grainiacs.