Yoga is for the dogs!

“A few minutes every morning will help give meaning to your day.”  Oh boy do I need that I thought as I giddily grabbed the yoga box and hurried home with my prize.  A.M. yoga was going to rock my world.  Give me some of that “gentle, introspective morning practice” and bring it on now!!!

I popped my new purchase into the DVD player.  The music was so soothing; I could get used to this.  I pulled out my sweet pink yoga pad.  You know a girl has to have all of her toys if she is going to do something right!  Laying it gently on the floor, I turned around to get something and turned back around to see two dogs rolling and frolicking on MY new yoga pad.  For the good of my inner peace, I threw the dogs outside (lovingly, of course).

“Lie on your back,” came a soft soothing voice.  Scratch, scratch, scratch.

“Relax,” the voice urged.  Scratch, scratch, scratch…whimper, bark,...BARK.

Okay, I’ll let you back in but don’t bother me!  I opened the door and both dogs bounded onto my pretty pink pad again.  It’s mine, I cried.  Get off!  I could feel my inner peace starting to wane.  I un-paused the video; I could feel I was losing ground here.

“Close your eyes…relax…release all your tension into the ground.”  What’s that?  Something cold and wet is sniffing my ear.  Concentrate, I keep telling myself; ignore the shih tzu.

“One hand on your solar plexes and the other to your heart; feel the wave of breath….”   Ugggghhh, what the hell?  The Lhaso Apso just used my “relaxed” pelvic belly as a springboard onto the chair.  How did the Buddhist monks practice yoga or any other form of meditation with dogs???  I bet they traded them in for a cat!


My kitten is the perfect yoga partner.  She knows exactly how to help me.  Keep out of the way!!!

You won't find me on the floor....no way!

What seemed like hours later, I was finally able to work through my yoga routine.  By then I was pissed at the world. I was drenched and fairly certain I smelled like a dog.  Lest you think I’m talking about sweat, I wish!  By the end of my routine, I had been sneezed on, licked, and sniffed.  It dawned on me later:  I was in THEIR territory.  I was on the floor where I tell them to be. "Get down off the chair; get off the couch," etc....etc.

Rodney Yee, you lied.  Yeah it’s easy for YOU to experience that balance lying on your back while the gentle sounds of the Hawaiian waves and the soft breeze of the Maui winds balance your morning, but here in MY neck of the woods, it don’t happen, Buddy!

“Surrender to the earth,” you say?  Well, I just surrendered to higher beings…my dogs.

Brooks critiquing my yoga.

Tomorrow I’m pulling out “Walk Away the Pounds.”  At least I’ll be upright and can march and kick and... although I might turn your video on for Cosmos; he IS getting the hang of yoga....

Cosmos perfecting his downward dog!