S-O-S

The problem with watching murder mysteries is you start to get a little paranoid—that is for this Scared Ole Strawberry!  Take Sunday morning, for instance.  Hubby and Son went early to church and left me alone to get ready.  What a luxury!  But did I enjoy my time alone….NO!  First thing, I go to get something out of my car and on my way back I notice there is a shovel by the front door.  A SHOVEL BY THE FRONT DOOR!!!!  It wasn’t there the day before.  In the last murder mystery I watched, one of the victims got knocked off by a shovel.  Remember, I’m watching a British show and everything takes place in the English countryside—there is always a shovel or some sort of gardening tool!  I thought to myself “don’t panic.”  Take the s.o.s. (stupid ole shovel) inside just in case someone is coming back for it!  I locked the front door (just in case) and continued getting ready for church.  Time came to let the dogs out for their one last hurrah before I left and what is lying on the carpet in front of the back door?  No, not the shovel but a pair of huge gardening loppers and I’m not talking about little shears; I’m telling you these bad boys can do some major limb damage.  By now my heart is beating so fast I’m afraid the dogs are going to have to do some heroic act on me and keep in mind they are the same dogs who let this intruder in IN THE FIRST PLACE.  Can I hear an “amen?”  Or at least a “woof woof?”

Once my heart began an even rhythm I realized Hubby had used them the week before during the men’s breakfast church clean-up.  You have to admire men who meet for a biscuit and sausage gravy breakfast and then tackle the manual labor!  Think about it, women.  What do we do after meeting the ladies for breakfast….why shop, of course!  That’s my kind of manual labor.  Okay, I know you are asking “Why in the h-e-double hockey sticks (we are talking about a Sunday so let’s watch the language!) did he leave a shovel by the front door and loppers by the back door?”  I’m asking the same question.  He’s been watching these murder mysteries right along with me; he should have put them by our bedside!  Seeing as how our weapon of defense has been the camera tripod, he should have realized after watching the British mysteries that he could hit the intruder over the head with the shovel while I lop off their trigger finger or baby toe.  What WAS my man thinking?

I guess you realize another scary event is coming up.  BOO!  Halloween is right around the corner.  It is also the time that every peanut butter cup/ almond joy/ baby ruth/ actually anything chocolate call out my name as I walk through the store.  Yes!  The candy aisle at the store can be scary if you are trying to lose weight.  Personally I’d rather stay home and find random gardening tools around my house than try to fight a chocolate battle.  But that’s just me.

I want to leave you with a happy thought.  I saw this on facebook today and just had to share with my favorite Grainiacs.  

Get Real!

Happy 4th Anniversary to me!  It's been 4 weeks since I started this blog and began my "This is It" Tour.  The journey has been smooth sailing thus far and it worries me because once I get comfortable, I slip back into not so terrific habits.  I thought today for my 4 week anniversary, I would get real.  I will stop hiding behind my words and my pets and introduce myself.  Put my photos out there in blog-land so that (hopefully) the next time you see me, you'll be seeing less of me!  How's that for real.

I believe I mentioned in my first blog ( Day 1 ) that I've been lying to myself for 20 years.  I'm not going to take you back that far....how does 2008 sound?


My weight loss journey did not start in 2008, but I wanted to start my picture gallery in 2008.  You see, I've taken photo after photo to mark the beginning of "a new weight loss journey."  Any diet program will say "take a picture of the old you."  Unfortunately I keep taking pictures and it's still the old me!!  Sidebar: My 2011 photo is recent and was taken after losing almost 10 pounds.  It's hard for weight loss to start showing on me after 10 pounds so I thought this would be a good photo to mark the beginning (although you and I know I've lost almost 10 pounds, right?) of my This Is It Tour.

 

Me in 2008

Me in 2009

Me in 2010

Do you see much difference from 2008 to 2010?  Me either.  Let me tell you-- 2011 isn't much different either!  Each time I took a picture it was because THIS WAS GONNA BE THE TIME!!   A picture is worth a 1,000 words they say?  Well,Strawberry's Reader's Digest version says "Stop kidding yourself."  Have you ever kidded yourself that way?  It doesn't have to be about weight loss either....just fill in the blanks.  (If you don't have any blanks to fill in, please write me; I want to know your secret.)

So here I am and this time it is going to be different because YOU are on the journey with me.  Thank you, Grainiacs.  I love you.

2011 Me & cat & dog BUT I'm not hiding behind them!

I'm innocent I tell ya

Our little pound kitty has turned into a regular diva.  She has (quite by accident) acquired a taste for bottled water.  It happened innocently, really.  Our water dispenser is by her bread machine nest (see photos in Kitzilla's Nest ((Time..Schedules..etc))).  Whenever anyone goes near the water dispenser, she is there…nose and all…wanting to see the water flowing.  At first, this fascination with water was amusing; after all cats and water!  She is not your typical cat—she doesn’t run from the water, she runs to it!  While washing dishes, she jumps on the counter to watch me.  I thought if I gave her a bath in there (I washed all the dishes first!), it would deter her.  Who knew she’d love it! 

Any who, this morning I poured myself a large glass of water to take my morning pill.  I set it down to attend to my (ahem) morning routine.  By the time I got back to the kitchen, the kitten was on the counter with nose in MY water glass!  I grabbed it and hissed at her (kitten language for “mine”) and took my drink into the family room.  I was about to take a sip when a thought hit me: did she already take a swig?  Oh well, cats are fairly clean, right?  I was about to drink and then remembered where I saw the kitty before I went to the bathroom.  She had taken care of her morning constitutional and was on the printer cleaning herself….you know where!!!!  Yuck, yuck, pooey, I was most definitely NOT going to drink after her.  Note to self: only pour enough water to take pill in morning and then buy one of those water bottle helmets so you can keep your water on you…literally!  I checked some out.  Aren’t they cute?

All of this rambling is to remind myself to get in more water before the kitty does.  I have gotten lax about it.  How about you?  Are you drinking enough water?  If you come to my house, be sure to bring your own water helmet or for goodness sake, hold your water glass wherever you go.  Kitzilla is on the loose!

She is quick.

 Before you know it...

P.S.  Even after telling Hubby about my blog topic this morning and asking him to fetch some water so I could catch Kitzilla in action for a photo op, he STILL forgot.  Guess who set his water down on the counter and walked over to watch me type....and guess who helped herself to the freshly dispensed water!  Yep, she's quick!

Weekly Weigh-In

I am so sorry, Grainiacs (P.S. thank you, #1 Grainiac, for the name suggestion.  It rocks!); I have been remiss in my weekly reports to you to let you know how it has been going!

As of August 31^st, I have lost 7.5 lbs.  Whoo hoo!  Slow and steady.  In my former life, I would have been bummed out that after 3 weeks I hadn't lost all the 20 years of weight gain.  My thought process was borderline ridiculous but hey, that's me!!!  The new strawberry is not going to be bummed about it (okay, secretly I wish I'd lost 25 pounds because then I'd be that much closer to goal weight, BUT I will not go there...excuse me, I'm going to go color now.  I need a time-out!).  LOL

Speaking of coloring, let me just say I am LOVIN’ my new coloring world.  Every night I eat dinner and then bring out my creative supplies and something child-like happens....I am in a happy place.  I really love it.  My family is getting used to this new me, too.  They are no longer laughing at me; now they just smile and nod.  I know they are secretly jealous!  I have been showcasing my beautiful artwork too.  At this rate, I’ll need a bigger refrigerator.

  

Speaking of refrigerators (do you like how I do that?  Look at the creativity that flows when you start coloring!), I am still menu-challenged.  I do not know why I cannot sit down and plan out a week or even a days worth of meals.  Maybe I’ll have to undergo hypnosis or something because I have some sort of aversion to it.  Any thoughts?  I just had one!  Anyone who has watched Drop Dead Diva knows the look I just made when something brilliant comes to her mind.  If you've never seen DDD, you don't know what you are missing; check out Lifetime's website to see past episodes.  It's a hoot.  Getting back to my brilliant idea (you probably already thought of it)  I could color code my menus.  I wonder if I plan out a menu with colored pencils would help.  I'll try it tonight. Ta Da!!!

My creativity station i.e. rolly computer/draft table

Check out the chick on the right!

Hubby drew the chicken.  I still need a ruler and compass to draw figures and a stick chicken wouldn't look appetizing-- even to me!

Drop me a line and tell me how you are doing.  Have any coloring pages to share?  Hmmm?

You are what you eat

If you are what you eat, then I’m nuts.  My aunt sent a forward with all sorts of twisted cartoons the other day.  She has such a wonderful sense of humor… a little twisted…but she can remember jokes like nobody’s business.  I remember when she and my father would get together on family visits; each one lobbing a joke back and forth like a tennis game.  I would get tennis neck turning from one to the other as they entertained us with the latest joke.  I was in awe that they could remember the joke AND the punch line.  That gene was not passed on to me.  I can either remember part of the joke or part of the punch line… never a full line.  I’m a lousy joke teller.  Seriously I can remember only one joke and it is not anything a preacher’s wife should repeat….so don’t ask me.  Getting back to the cartoons, one of them is by Reynolds Unwrapped.  Since I didn’t get his permission to post it here, you’ll have to look it up for yourself.  It shows a squirrel on the therapist’s couch saying “When I learned, ‘You are what you eat,’ I realized I was nuts.” 

That’s pretty much me.  I’m nuts about nuts.  I’m craving them like crazy.  Smokehouse almonds, peanuts, cashews, mixed nuts, you name it, I want it.  There is a strong possibility (ding dong!) I’ve substituted my grains for nuts!  Since I’m not munching on chips or popcorn anymore while watching my murder mysteries, the crunchy nuts are taking the grains’ place.  This is not making me a happy nut, er strawberry.  I AM seeing a pattern here—I need to be eating something while watching TV!  Let’s face it, anything in moderation like eating an ounce of nuts versus the whole dang jar is not all bad.  Correction: anything in moderation except drugs or texting while driving or cutting yourself…oh, I really don’t want to go here, Grainiacs, but you know what I mean.

So here is my solution…..drum roll please…..start beating on your desk if you’ve left your drum somewhere…..

Dieters have suggested doing something with your hands while watching TV so as not to eat.  Unfortunately I also didn't get the artist gene either; I need a compass and ruler to draw stick figures.  Man, I suck!  I can color and stay in the lines, though.  Whoo hoo!  So I am taking up coloring!  Crayons!  Colored pencils!  Anything office supply that is cute and shiny and pink and pretty; I love it!  My little rural Walmart doesn’t have the best selection of coloring books for a 50ish year young person but I did find a Lisa Frank coloring and activity book for $5.00.  If you’ve ever seen a Lisa Frank notebook, you’ll realize (as I just did) that she has lots of glitter in her work too.  Note to self: go back and buy glitter pens.  Of course I needed new crayons AND newly sharpened from the factory coloring pencils.  Why shan’t our own sharpeners sharpen as sharp as the shipper’s?  HA, say that fast.  I want one of those sharpeners!  Like I want a Sonic crunchy ice machine!  I’m not high maintenance, really!  Coloring and keeping my hands busy really worked.  I colored and created all over my L.F. coloring book.  Of course I missed key hints during the mystery but I was coloring to my little heart's content.  It felt good.  I posted my creation on the refrigerator.  If anyone asks, I'll say a neighbor child gave it to me!  Have you ever heard of quilting swaps?  Let's swap our coloring pages.  No!  I'm telling!!!!!

My To Do is now my Ta Da!

Notice my new purchase...grocery list and menu planner pad.  So cute!

 I told you; I LOVE office supplies.

sex

I’m really getting tired of advertisements that don’t put out.  In my years, I have learned to steer clear of “Christmas specials” at X, Y, and/or Z store.  You don’t need to trample, or cuss, or throw a punch just because it was the last collector tickle me elmo, people.  Sheesh, talk about your Christmas spirit!!  By the way, I did apologize for my behavior; will you please let me come back to your store?

Scrolling through my emails this morning, one in particular caught my attention.  The subject line read: Banish “bra fat” with one easy move.  Eureka! I thought.  You see the women on my side of the family are let’s just say, absolutely not lacking in THAT department.  It’s a sad day when your petite daughters ask to skip the proverbial 18^th birthday gifts and set up a mother/ daughter family plan at the plastic surgeon for a breast reduction!  I’m not too keen on any kind of surgery, especially one where I’ll be out cold and someone is messing with the girls.  Thanks, but no thanks.  So you see this email was a blessing.  I’d have some tidbit of advice to share with my daughters besides the classic “hey, who needs a bat or a tennis racket; swing your body this way and wham, home run! “

I opened the email and can you believe it, all they talked about was sex.  Don’t these morons know you are supposed to entice the customers and get their attention by starting off with the word “sex” in the subject line?  I bet you opened this post thinking that same thing.  See, sex gets one’s attention and then you go on to talk about some mundane thing like emails.  But I really wanted to know about bra fat!!!!  I feel cheap; I feel cheated; doggone it, I want to learn how to get rid of it.  Is that too much to ask?  I have a good mind to write them an email with sex in the subject line and then talk about my dishwasher.  That will show them!  Although I am going against my grain so instead I think I'll go and practice my boob swing.  I hear “winter” softball is about to start practice.

Now where did I put....

My day!!!  Where did it go?  I woke up at 7:10 a.m. and now it is 2:55 p.m.!  Did someone change the clock?

This morning the shih tzu went to the beauty parlor (lucky dog!), but that shouldn't have knocked my world out of orbit.  Although, how many of us can go to an all-day spa for $25.00?  Now is this fair, I ask you?  

Oh and then I ran to the store to pick up milk for the boy so he could eat his grains and of course I needed a treat for me....Braum's has a wonderful vanilla bean frozen yogurt.  I'll be back...I need a snack.

Okay, where was I?  And then the boy wanted my help with his science lab.  We began working on mass and velocity and momentum and my head started spinning (science is not my forte!).  Thankfully there are others in the house who can serve as his lab partner.  Unfortunately, they are more hindrance than help.

I'd say it is hard to measure the distance with Kitzilla sitting on the track.

Does this measuring stick make my butt look fat?

Sorry, Kitzilla...no helping move the "sled" either.  Such a good science partner!  She just wants the results to look good!

It moves; it rolls; it's mine!

Moving right along, let me help you measure that ping pong ball, Boy.  I don't think you have the weight right down.

Sorry, Kitzilla, Boy needs a new lab partner...well, he's not exactly a "lab" but the lhaso apso will have to do....oh, great....

I'll help you, Boy, let me write for you....okay...okay....I'll write for you....okay?

Such was my day.  How about yours?

Reality Check

I hope I’m not the only strawberry to hold my breath when I get one of those “here we go again: So and So's funny customer” forwards.  Do you know the ones I’m writing about?  Photos of people looking their worst while shopping?  I cringe when I see the subject line but I have to look and make sure my own fanny isn’t highlighted in that email.   And really; who are these people who have all this time to go all over town and/or country looking for corpulent derrieres just so they can draft an email and get a laugh or two?  Get a life!

I have to admit, I rarely get dressed up to go shopping.  I’m usually in the middle of my annual cleaning-fest when I realize I don’t have any cleaning supplies.  Who takes the time to get dressed up to buy toilet cleaner?  But being the crowning photo of such an email isn’t appealing either so while perusing the internet I decided that looking nice is not a bad thing!  “Look Nice” should NOT be thought of as a double 4-letter word, now should it?  Shouldn’t I look my best in case (heaven forbid) one of those photographers happened to be shopping in my little rural establishment?

Yesterday, I read on yahoo news that Sarah Hyland poked fun at Lea Michele’s “Red Carpet Pose.”  It seems Lea thrusts her shoulders forward and sticks out her collarbone to make herself look skinny.  She also puffs out her lips.  I guess the full-lipped look is still in fashion!  I had to see for myself what a red carpet pose looked like.  I think I may have found it….

                                         http://i.cocoperez.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/lea_michele_marie_claire_uk__oPt.jpg

Could I really achieve this?  Or maybe this one.....                        

 http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/melissa-mccarthy-designed-her-wildly-comfortable-emmys-dress-1642444.story?ocid=answw11

Can I just say:  Yay for Melissa McCarthy (I loved her on Gilmore Girls).  See, even hefty women can strike up a red carpet pose and look T-rific.

Dear Readers, I am going against my grain.  Doing things that don’t come naturally to me so you see, I have GOT TO start dressing for success.   I’m on my way out to Walmart now.  I want to look nice.  What do you think?  Did I nail it?  I hope so….. I sure don’t want to be in one of those funny forwarded “Walmart customer” emails!

Is that my collarbone or fat pockets?  I can't tell.

Yoga is for the dogs!

“A few minutes every morning will help give meaning to your day.”  Oh boy do I need that I thought as I giddily grabbed the yoga box and hurried home with my prize.  A.M. yoga was going to rock my world.  Give me some of that “gentle, introspective morning practice” and bring it on now!!!

I popped my new purchase into the DVD player.  The music was so soothing; I could get used to this.  I pulled out my sweet pink yoga pad.  You know a girl has to have all of her toys if she is going to do something right!  Laying it gently on the floor, I turned around to get something and turned back around to see two dogs rolling and frolicking on MY new yoga pad.  For the good of my inner peace, I threw the dogs outside (lovingly, of course).

“Lie on your back,” came a soft soothing voice.  Scratch, scratch, scratch.

“Relax,” the voice urged.  Scratch, scratch, scratch…whimper, bark,...BARK.

Okay, I’ll let you back in but don’t bother me!  I opened the door and both dogs bounded onto my pretty pink pad again.  It’s mine, I cried.  Get off!  I could feel my inner peace starting to wane.  I un-paused the video; I could feel I was losing ground here.

“Close your eyes…relax…release all your tension into the ground.”  What’s that?  Something cold and wet is sniffing my ear.  Concentrate, I keep telling myself; ignore the shih tzu.

“One hand on your solar plexes and the other to your heart; feel the wave of breath….”   Ugggghhh, what the hell?  The Lhaso Apso just used my “relaxed” pelvic belly as a springboard onto the chair.  How did the Buddhist monks practice yoga or any other form of meditation with dogs???  I bet they traded them in for a cat!


My kitten is the perfect yoga partner.  She knows exactly how to help me.  Keep out of the way!!!

You won't find me on the floor....no way!

What seemed like hours later, I was finally able to work through my yoga routine.  By then I was pissed at the world. I was drenched and fairly certain I smelled like a dog.  Lest you think I’m talking about sweat, I wish!  By the end of my routine, I had been sneezed on, licked, and sniffed.  It dawned on me later:  I was in THEIR territory.  I was on the floor where I tell them to be. "Get down off the chair; get off the couch," etc....etc.

Rodney Yee, you lied.  Yeah it’s easy for YOU to experience that balance lying on your back while the gentle sounds of the Hawaiian waves and the soft breeze of the Maui winds balance your morning, but here in MY neck of the woods, it don’t happen, Buddy!

“Surrender to the earth,” you say?  Well, I just surrendered to higher beings…my dogs.

Brooks critiquing my yoga.

Tomorrow I’m pulling out “Walk Away the Pounds.”  At least I’ll be upright and can march and kick and... although I might turn your video on for Cosmos; he IS getting the hang of yoga....

Cosmos perfecting his downward dog!

McWaddle

What is it about our love/hate relationship that it makes the daily news?  I’m really wondering if it is some McMarketing strategy .  I read today about another McBlogger’ challenge.  This McNut is training for a marathon and will subsist on Mickey D food for 31 days in preparation of said marathon.  I say “Wha-choo talkin’ bout, McWillis?  (I miss Different Strokes.)  Even “Runner’s World’s health reporter warns of the hidden dangers of trans-fat-laden processed foods that athletes think are safe to consume because of their calorie-burning regimen. "[Trans fat] not only increases bad, artery-clogging cholesterol, but also actually lowers levels of the heart-protecting good cholesterol,” she explains.  That means no matter how much you burn, you’re still vulnerable to heart disease.”

Is this really worth the 10 minutes of fame?  I think not.  I clogged my arteries and fattened up my heart the old fashioned way….little by little and that’s how I plan to take it off.  News reports such as this scare me.  I’m afraid some will look at it and think hey if I just run I can eat every meal at McD’s too.  Unfortunately too many of us stop the running and keep on eating out like we were still in training.  Or at least that would be me!!  Maybe I’m the only one who thinks like that but no more….I’m going against my grain.

So here’s my challenge (I’m not running, though.  It would look more like a McWaddling plus Achoo, I’m allergic to it!):

ð       I will make my own Strawberry Yogurt Parfait (sans granola) and get in other healthy dairy products and not go through a drive-thru to get them!
ð       I will eat more fruits and veggies and lay off starchy ones (for now at least)
ð       I will move my buns and not whine about it and definitely not treat myself to a full fat ice cream cone after I do move my buns.  That is counter-productive but something I would do in my former days (she sheepishly confesses!).
ð       I will take my vitamins daily because I need energy and the other recommended vitamins I’m not getting.

Yep, that is good enough for now.  I don’t want to overload my brain or anything.

Be sure to check back on Monday (this Strawberry takes Sunday off).  I will post my yoga pictures!  No laughing though!!!!

Fore!

I come from a family of golfers.  I thought golf was neat simply because the ladies wore cute outfits.  Recently I posted a set of scores on my social network.  I received kudos for my game.  Unfortunately they were my bowling scores! 

I really don’t know when it happened.  I’d like to blame my kids or some other scape-goat but I have to quit blaming others and place it where it belongs….on me.  I made me a marshmallow.  No, I didn’t cook that marshmallow up in the kitchen.  I was not wearing my cute little Betty Boop apron.  I was sitting on my duff eating bon bons, popcorn, or any other stereotypical delicacy (yes, popcorn is a delicacy. Just think about all those yummy flavors to top on it!).

But honestly, last night was horrible.  I don’t even want to talk about it because it is so painful—both figuratively AND literally.  I hurt myself bowling!!!!  I can’t even say I dropped a bowling ball on my foot.  Nope.  I tore a muscle while (boo hoo hoo) practicing.  I hate to admit that I’m so out of shape that bowling has become a contact sport.  I threw so many gutter balls, I think my teammates were hoping the league would take pity on me and bring up the bumperpads.  I swear, if one more person told me the personnel had already cleaned out the gutters, I was going to stuff my dirty bowling sock in their mouth!  Gee, I guess bowling IS a contact sport.  Ahem.

I have a new zest for exercising.  I bought a yoga video for beginners.  I’ll let you know how it goes….unless ...I can’t ...get ...back ...up ...off the floor.

Say WHAT?

Okay, I bit.  I clicked on the link reporting See Kirstie’s dramatic weight loss.  Wait!  Haven’t we seen it before?  I’ve got to say I grew tired of reading about celebrity’s weight gain and loss.  Poor things, don’t people know that the camera adds 10 pounds to anyone’s physique?  Can’t they just eat that ding dong in private without the whole world wondering “Did she swallow it?”  I am so thankful that although my “what’s your personality type” quiz classified me as a performer, I perform in my own little universe and not on the cover of some tabloid.  I don't think I could take the pressure.  I can’t believe that we, especially Americans, are so hung up on someone’s weight.  We are probably the fattest people in the world.  How could we call someone a hogzilla?  Honestly, “get a life.”  By buying into this, can’t we see we are giving our daughters low esteem and low body image and driving them to all sorts of eating disorders?  Shame on us; and shame on the reporters and magazines that promote it.  I love Tyra Banks quote in the article: "Kiss my fat ass!" she told critics in 2007 after a tabloid ran her photo under the headline "America's Next Top Waddle" (taken from Weekly US article online 9/14/11 http://www.usmagazine.com/healthylifestyle/photos/were-tired-of-the-fat-jokes-20091510/4638).  I wish every celebrity had that moxie.

And when will we ever leave Delta Burke and Carrie Fischer alone?  I can't believe this article even mentioned them.  Good grief!  Are we still caught up in their weight struggles?  Speaking of Burke, did Cheryl Burke really have to respond to some jerk on the message board?  Again I quote from the article:  After seeing comments on a Dancing With the Stars message board (one person called her a "hogzilla"), the size-4 dancer said last year: "Maybe I'm not at my thinnest right now, but it's a little bit like, 'Wow, do you really think I'm fat?'"  Size 4?  Size 0?  These numbers do not even compute in my world!  What happened to striving for a perfect size 8?  I think I will be a perfect size 0 once I've been laid to rest and my body has started to deteriorate.  I'm not even sure my bones would be considered a size 0!

I might be changing myself from the inside out, but I think Joe Blow America needs to change himself from the inside out too.  I wish I could write and tell every one of these stars to quit responding to those remarks about how fat they are.  After all, those posters are just some idiot hiding behind their computer.  You calling ME a hogzilla?  Yeah, right, say that to my face.  I'll have my buffed up bodyguard all over YOUR hogzilla!  I truly believe the old saying my Momma used to tell me: that bully wants “to get your goat.”  Don’t respond and they’ll give up and move on.  Maybe if the stars would have better body image and self-esteem they could forego responding to these posts and love themselves the way they are…no matter what the public says.  

Do you think we will ever get to the point where people no longer look at your size but truly look and see “you?”  Maybe that’s what we call “heaven on earth.”

Today, I wish for all of us to love ourselves completely…unconditionally…every bump and cellulite dimple!

Challenge

Last night I was challenged to follow a certain weight loss program to a "t."  For me, this means

• Staying on target (sometimes I feel like I have one on my back! Do you have those kinds of days?)
• Eating lots of fruits and veggies (no problem except I need to go to the store!)
• Treating myself so I don't feel deprived (that is something I will have NO problem accomplishing-- just hide the checkbook and the chocolate!)
• Moving my buns (and I'm not talking hamburger or hotdog variety-- I already have THAT under control.  Yipee!)

It doesn't sound too hard, does it?  I'm afraid the "move my buns" challenget might just be the hard one for me.  I have friends who love to exercise (could they really be MY friends???); I admire them.  Somehow that kind of dedication and/or love passed right on by me.  Of course I am paying the consequence now.  So, I accept this challenge wholeheartedly.  I will work on it.

How about you?  We don't have to make changes i.e. "New Year's Resolutions" only in January.  The middle of September sounds like a great time too.  Do you have a challenge to accept today?  No time like mid-September!

Say it ain't so!

It just hit me this morning.  I was walking behind my little shih tzu trying not to step on him as he darted left and right looking behind himself to see where I was going.  In the middle of one of his darts, he stopped and sniffed the cat’s behind for a second and resumed running in front of me anticipating my next move.  Forgetting about me again, he ran and grabbed the ear of the other dog and then full sprinted to playfully attack the other cat who by the way, was not amused with said puppy.  Besides having too many pets, I just realized I am like that little shihtz!  I start out on a mission (say, dieting) and I get side-tracked sniffing in places I shouldn’t (like any place that has “pie” in its name!), chasing after other play-things (insert anything here), and totally forgetting what I started out to do.

My goal as you will recall was a foul four-letter word in my spontaneous/ fly by the seat of my pants world: P-L-A-N.  I have a friend who just started a diet.  Every day she sends me her meal plan PLUS the next day’s meal plan!  It just does not compute with me.  I’m wondering what part of the brain is responsible for that four-letter word because I’m sure I must have had a lobotomy that took out the planning part of my brain at some point in my life.  Why don’t I use her meal plans, right?  Because she is not off grains AND I have to learn to meal plan for myself.  I’m stubborn that way….although I could stop writing for a moment and go and look at how the brain works and …..sniff…sniff…sniff…ooh, shiny!

I think my Grandmom had it right.  Every morning for breakfast she ate the same thing.  No guessing….no planning.  I remember visiting her.  We would head out to her local grocer and she would let me buy whatever I wanted and then we would think about her memorized grocery list….milk, butter, cream, bread.  She rattled off those staples every time.  As long as she had those 4 items, she was good to go!  So back to her breakfast… for as long as I can remember (and ahem, that’s a looooong time) she had cantaloupe, toast with butter, and a cup and a saucer full of coffee.  Her doctor limited her coffee intake to one cup a day.  In keeping with the Dr. orders, she would pour a cup of coffee to the brim and  over into her saucer.  I asked “Why not just have a second cup?”  Her reply, “Doctor’s orders.”  She was a funny old lady.  I miss her.  I can take a tip from her, though.  She was perfectly content with that breakfast every morning.  I need to find a breakfast that I like and stick to it.  No thinking; no planning; just eat it.  Make sure I have my staples on hand and then I’ll be good to go.  What do you think?  Is it a plan?

Wicked!

People are gonna talk.  I wanted her to be my buddy but she was nowhere to be found; so I had to buddy up with her partner.  Now they are going to know I've been with him-- he has a distinct scent.

Living in a small rural town, secrets are hard to keep.  Some are going to suspect and others will definitely know when they get a whiff of me.  Oh Ben, why do you have to drown yourself with that fragrance?  Now everyone will know what I've done.  How will I explain that pulled thigh muscle?  I'm ashamed; I knew better.  I'm a wimp; I was weak.  It was just so tempting.  I should have never attempted it without stretching out first.  It is all so wicked.

Next week I'll be prepared.  I went to Walmart and bought protection.  The saleslady smiled knowingly.  Are we that obvious?  I'm hoping I can sneak my new purchase on without too many stares.  Oh, you feel so good, though.  But I just can't have people talking.  I'm leaving you for....

relief in a foil packet

So good-bye, Ben... for now...

My eyes are watering; a tear rolls down my cheek.  Of course it could be from my pulled thigh muscle, but most likely from the menthol.

Temptation Eyes

I was tempted today.  I had not had this particular hankering this past week so it took me by surprise this morning.  Funny thing about temptation, though: it never seems to go away.  Kick one and another rears it's ugly head.  While cutting out grains such as white bread, pretzels, pound cake...oops, I better stop, I might be tempting you...I have added another temptation to my-my-my-soul.  It can be quite distressing to this strawberry since I usually succumb to one or all of them....I might have grown up in the 70's but I'm not as strong as Helen Reddy would like me to be!  Lest you think I'm talking about food, I will confess it's my darn love/hate relationship with my scale.  Here we go again.  I had decided that the snake wouldn't define me.  I have accomplished many other achievements and let's face it....it's just a number.  Yet this morning I could hear Kaa lissssping look into my eyes.  I'll admit, I was almost hypnotized into stepping on that snake of a scale!  I want to see those number drop but I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't pack on the weight in one week so it won't plummet like the stock market in one week either.  I don't want to discourage myself this early either.  I have been working hard at changing myself from the inside out so I don't want to sabotage a good thing after one week.  Lord, help me.  Kaa better watch it.  He might find himself in the grain silo!

I do have a positive *thing* to report.  Yesterday I went out to lunch with a friend and this certain eatery is known for their scrumptious desserts-- talk about temptations!  If you ask me, there is some addictive additive baked in them.  Once I had a slice of her bread pudding and I swear I was back in there buying a whole pan of it.  Now that is addictive, wouldn't you say?  But yesterday, I ordered a healthy turkey salad and no, it was not on a croissant!  Halfway through my lunch, the owner brought over a mini lemon poppy-seed pound cake (straight out of the oven -no joke!).  She called it a muffin...I called it ssss-serpent!  Here's the good news.  

I was not tempted to eat it.

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained

I did not step on Kaa this morning either.  I CAN do this.  I'm stronger than I think.  Helen Reddy was right!

If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

Friday update

I wanted to post an update:

Confession:  I have NOT been super-organized thus far but I'm working on it.  As I mentioned today in a separate post- baby steps...baby steps.  As for the grain silo: it is still in operation.  I find the cravings for popcorn and/or chips is non-existent now that they are in the old junk cabinet.  Out of sight/ out of mind.  The boys get in there and pull out bread and chips for sandwiches but I hardly ever open that cabinet.  It is truly a win/ win for me and them!  I am consuming more water and tea and less sodas so I don't know if it is because I'm limiting the caffeine or because I've cut out the grains that I am sleeping better at night.  That's my update for this week.

Have a wonderful weekend!

We are the champions my friend
And we'll keep on fightin' till the end
We are the champions, We are the champions
No time for losers 'cause we are the champions

The song is stuck in my head.  I heard it on the radio coming back from getting a crunchy iced Diet Coke.  Don't judge me; I need it (said with a childlike whine).  I can get that way-- just ask anyone (forgive me, Mom!).  That song has a special meaning too.  I remember sitting in the back of a certain Cadillac in the late 70's belting it out with my friends as we came back late from a long lunch making us tardy for our next class.  Fortunately we had tennis right after lunch (does it make sense to you that we had lunch then PE?) and the thrill of sneaking, rather running in our platform shoes to our lockers to get our tennis gear...well, it just brings a smile to my face.  I can also trace this back to the start of my bad eating habits.  In high school, I was active.  I could down a burger and fries and work it off (unintentionally mind you) just by being an active teen.  I played tennis at school, volleyball on the beach, swimming at the club, and flag football with the youth group.  Heck, now just wearing those 3" platform shoes constitutes working out in my book!  I ate and didn't think a thing about it.  We would laugh at my eating M&Ms and drinking a Tab.

Well, I'm not laughing now.  I am a meal planning, menu dodging mess.  Most kids gain the freshman 20 their first year of college.  Not mine, they lost 20 their first year of college; I know, a sad testimony.  Just this past week, everyone was on their own.  It's hard enough giving up grains and pasta the first couple of weeks, but to cook them for someone else and watch them eat 'em is downright criminal.  So while I was abstaining from them, my boys were on their own.  It's Friday and my week starts on the weekend.  I can get a lot accomplished during the weekend (unless it's Labor Day or Groundhog Day), but this is a new way of life for me so today is the day.  Going against my grain means I need to do that 4-letter word.  Every diet nutritionist will tell you....P-L-A-N.  I took a personality test the other day and my personality showed up as "performer."  HA.  I guess I am a sort of drama queen so I'm channeling my inner Hazel-- I loved those old reruns (I wonder if netflix has them...maybe I'll look on amazon).  Arrrggg, stay focused, Strawberry!  Hazel was always getting into some sort of mischief and still had a hot meal on the table for Mr. and Mrs. B and Sport; she is my hero. I have donned my favorite apron....

favorite apron

pulled out my favorite pink planner.....

favorite pretty-n-pink planner

and have set out to plan.  Now where do I begin?  Maybe I should enroll in a time management class?  No, not necessary.  Maybe I should look up planners online and see what is really supposed to be in them.  This is all new to me.  Several years ago (possibly a decade but who's counting?), I purchased some inserts for my pretty pink planner.  Now that I've re-opened it, I see I set up a meal planning tab with pages labeled "menu planner."  I think they are secretly laughing at me.  Flipping through it, I see that I purchased a calendar too.  I wonder how long I have to wait to use them again-- they're dated 2008-09?  I'll look up the calendar cycle later!

I feel good; I'm taking the first step in organizing my meals.  My goal is to start small-- starting with planning tonight's dinner.  My problem has always been trying to tackle too much all at once.  I know I won't plan out a whole week's worth of dinners, but one dinner at day is not too overwhelming for even this chronically disorganized soul.  But first, I better write my name in the front; that way, if it gets lost, I'll be able to find it.  After all, I'm drinking green tea and doesn't it promote good mental health?!  Baby steps....baby steps.

Time to sing:  We are the champions, we are the champions.....

Fits Me to a Tea!

Recently a friend turned me on to a British murder series, Midsomer Murders based off the books by Caroline Graham.  So instead of say cleaning house or washing clothes or any myriad of things I could be doing, I'm sitting on my arse mesmerized by English cottages with beautiful gardens, British accents, and funny sayings such as "nutters and more nutters."  Can I just say the visual stimuli of this show is absolutely flooding my senses?  Unfortunately, this marketing ploy has seeped into Hubby's psyche too.  Just yesterday he said "I say, we really should consider naming our abode."  I thought up a few cutesy names for our domicile but Chaos Cottage or Hectic Hall or Messy Mansion just doesn't have the same ring as Holly House or Beehive Bungalow or Church End Cottage.

Besides giving me the wanderlust and looking into English bed and breakfasts, I have bought every brand and flavor of tea bags (thankfully I live in a small rural area) and I'm not really a tea drinker! What is it with the English and their tea?  But this morning I pulled out my little individual teapot with matching tea cup and brewed myself a wild berry zinger...no wise-crack!  Okay, I have to laugh too- this fits me to a, well, tee!

I'm glad I wasn't born before Tea!

I have been reading up on tea, especially green tea.  The University of Maryland Medical Center has an online article about the benefits of green tea.  They say tea is the most widely consumed beverage in the world.  In my world, it's Diet Coke.  Although I have reduced my consumption of the product ( I heard  Diet Coke sales plunged this past week and execs are scratching their heads in confusion), I have not cut it out completely.  I have, however, increased my consumption of tea.  Again the UMMC article states that green tea has been used as a "stimulant, diuretic (to promote the excretion of urine"-- oh yes, I can attest to that!), "astringent (to control bleeding and help heal wounds), and to improve heart health" (this strawberry is all for that!).  "Other traditional uses of green tea including treating flatulence" (no comment), "regulating body temperature and blood sugar, promoting digestion, and improving mental processes."  Good grief, why wouldn't I want to drink it?  Anything to keep me regular AND help me find my car keys.

Of course, there is another benefit to drinking green tea that many dieters have most likely already heard.  Green tea may boost metabolism and help burn fat.  So far drinking tea and sitting watching murder mysteries hasn't bolted my metabolism into action.  Although, I have pulled out the deflated exercise ball I bought many moons ago.  The makers were so thoughtful to include a tiny hand pump versus a motorized air pump.  I can sit and watch my TV while pumping little miniscule puffs of air into a 65 cm anti-burst exercise ball.  I have been working on it for days.  At this rate my great grandchildren will continue with the tradition of blowing up the damn thing one little baby's breath at a time.