As you all know, I am an over-committing Strawberry. I have a savior complex and think I have to help fix EVERYTHING!!! I'm wondering if that might be a symptom of low self-esteem. When I feel bad or down on myself I tend to want to be needed and thus over-commit myself. It takes time (sometimes years!) to get out of those low-tide commitments.
Recently I have over-committed again. I don't think I was feeling bad about myself when I committed, but rather saw a need and ran with it. Then I saw another need and ran with it. And another....and y'all know how much I hate running!! I recently saw a picture of a t-shirt. The saying on the shirt makes me chuckle:
Bwahahahahaha.....I love it, but as one friend commented "Oh! I WANT one! (With sleeves of course to hide my non-runner arms!)"
So back to my story- I have told anyone that will listen, I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT COMMITTING TO ANOTHER THING!!! I am taking some time off. I still need to un-pack boxes in the garage, for Pete's sake!!! BTW, Who is Pete? Eeeek, okay, BACK to the story!!
So yesterday, the President of an organization called and asked if I would take over the unexpired term of the corresponding secretary. This is an organization I want to help in the distant future but not now. I was flattered but I knew I had to say No at this time. But you have to know that my Strawberry "I need to help them" attitude was kicking in. I apologized and gave my excuses and assured her I knew everyone else was giving excuses and I was so sorry to do it, etc etc. In the end, I held my ground and said "not at this time." I did it. I feel horrible. I feel so guilty about it, but I think healthy people know their limitations and are able to (guilt-free) say "not at this time." I'm working on it. Now if I could work on "not feeling so guilty about needing to take care of myself."
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