The Gospel According to Strawberry

I am teaching children's Sunday School tomorrow for about 4 weeks.  It has more to do with my seminary class than with being a really nice Christian.  I need a grade, man!  So let's begin with the beginning: Genesis.  As I ponder the majesty and glory of God’s wonderful amazing world and all that God did those first days of creation, I am left with the question “Why did God make teeth?”  I’m serious.  In God’s magnificent wisdom and knowledge and LOVE, why would a compassionate God create a beloved creation with something that could cause… so…. much…. pain???  I ask you; do you relish the thought of 12” needles being stuck up into your gums?  How about a drill?  Since I found out I need a root canal, I am contemplating such questions of God.  The mere name (root canal...not God....well.....yes God too!) sends shivers up my spine and brings my blood pressure up to the nth degree.  Don’t get me wrong; I appreciate dentists but I have to wonder what kind of issues they endured early in their life that they would seek such a sadistic profession!  (I’m also taking Human Growth and Development this semester so maybe Freud will help me find the answer!) 

In Genesis 1:29 God says “I now give to you all the plants on the earth that yield seeds and all the trees whose fruit produces its seeds within it.  These will be your food.”  Now why couldn’t God create a food where teeth are not needed?  You really don’t need teeth to gum manna or gulp down the precious seeds of a persimmon.  I think of my babies.  What did they survive on?  Mother’s milk or some type of liquid diet, right?  I wonder why God didn’t create us humans to just stay on that kind of diet.  Eve would never have eaten that forbidden fruit unless she gummed it to death and by then maybe she could have changed her mind and changed the course of the history.

The Apostle Paul tells us in Hebrews 5 that infants need milk but that mature Christians need solid food.  I still have to wonder what kind of life we humans might have had with just a liquid diet.  Would there be obesity?  I read an article about a girl who has only survived on ramen noodles for 13 of her 18 year old life.  Doctors are claiming she is malnourished and has the inside body organs of an 80 year old.  Wouldn't that scare you if you were 18 years old?  50 years old?

Since I'm stuck with my teeth, I guess I’ll have to trust God and God’s ultimate wisdom because as for me, my wisdom teeth were extracted a long time ago!

Pretzels, Anyone?

Was my body really meant to contort that way?  I haven't danced to Achy Breaky Heart yet but I have pulled out my yoga mat and bought a nice rubberized strap.  I usually use a towel to wrap around my feet and lean one leg to the right and then lean to the left.  Recently, I have experienced great pain when sitting on the floor cross-legged.  My hip just doesn't want to cooperate!  I'm not sure if it ever wanted to cooperate.  I remember long, long, LONG years ago when I took ballet- now that's going back decades!!!  I was new to the class and the ballet instructor was telling us to do the splits.  I must have been 10 inches off the ground from that split.  My legs were bent and my face must have been red from struggling to get into position.  The next thing I know the instructor leans on my shoulders and pops me into the splits.  Sure I heard a pop and something like muscles tearing, but I was so proud.  I know I went home joyous and proved to whomever would watch me as I slid into a ballet splits.  Well now I'm cussing out that instructor who is probably happily  pirouette-ing and Grand jeté-ing all over heaven while I, on the other hand, can't even sit cross-legged!  Where are you now, huh?  Why aren't you here to pop my hip into a happy little cross-legged position?  So much for sitting in "seated meditation."  But that's not stopping me from utilizing the VCR and moving from downward facing dog to mountain pose.  Oh yeah, this Strawberry can move mountains with those pelvic tilts!!

Great time!

This past weekend I experienced love and friendship that only can happen during a mountain-top atmosphere.  I am thankful that the smells and pollen on that mountain loved me too! Even my tooth behaved  (p.s. I do need a root canal.  Boy did that knock me off my mountain top!).  

I enjoyed seeing "old" friends and was thrilled to meet "new" friends.  Sisters in Christ are special people....sometimes.  I traveled to my mountain-top with a new "sister."  So all in all, it was a smashing success.  And as usual I've hit the pavement running.  That's the thing about weekend getaways; schedules and appointments back home are waiting patiently for you.

My seminary classes started yesterday and they are not so patient.  They could have cared less if I had a spiritual retreat.  I took a look at the syllabi and it's time to hit the books and get writing.  Grrrrrrr

Before I get the brain moving, may I tell you about my new favorite exercise?  I told Boy I had a new favorite.  He was happy to hear about it till I mentioned I plan to teach it to him.  What's wrong with Line Dancing?  He didn't seem ecstatic to dance with his mother to Achy Breaky Heart!  Today is his orthodontics appointment.  Can you say "Oh my achy breaky checking account?"

I love to dance; always have but I've lost my happy feet.  I used to turn on The Go-Go's music and dance while I cleaned the house.  I've lost my hip and my hop!  I used to go to bars (shhh, don't tell my Mom) and dance away the hours to Ronnie Milsap, etc.  I've lost my two-step.  So move over Richard Simmons....I've decided to rock and roll and swing to my own drummer, er rather Spotify.  I'm going to find some of these country and western songs and get moving to line dancing.  Another great dancing activity we did was folk dancing via Hill Country style.  I want to look that up on the internet and get moving to the folk dance (it's a little like square dancing, I guess).  How about you?  Any great/ fun exercise programs you care to share?  Let's get moving, Grainiacs!

Pass the bucket

Do you have a bucket list?  

I don't have an official "bucket list," but I do have certain things I'd like to do/ see/ have before..... da da da!  

Last night at choir I mentioned I wouldn't be in church on a certain Sunday because I'll be out of town doing a certain something on my bucket list.  

You wouldn't believe how many people laughed and murmured.  After the practice almost everyone came up and commented that I am too young to have a bucket list.  

I asked "when DOES one start the list?"  

One older adult told me he has already completed his bucket list!  Wow!!! So now what, I wondered?

So hand me that bucket; I'm working on my list.

When it rains, it pours

Unless we are talking about actual rain, then it 1) doesn't come or 2) spits at you and then leaves.  Our poor farmers!  We need rain here, Grainiacs.  Please send precipitational thoughts our way!  Brooks and Cosmos are doing their part.  P.S. Don't eat our veggies unless you wash them off first!

This "rain" statement also pertains to our medical predicament.  Let it be a lesson not to procrastinate!  I knew I needed to see a dentist.  I knew Boy needed to see a dentist.  Heck, Hubby should probably see a dentist.

I knew I was going out of town this weekend to a women's spring gathering.  I knew I was planning to take those classes this spring...I just wasn't planning to have so many dental issues.  Sheesh, what do you think the Good Lord is trying to tell me?  Am I that person waiting for God to rescue me when people are sending out cars, boats and helicopters?

I have other things happening too; so lesson learned God!!!!  I'm going to be proactive rather than reactive.  Wait, where have I heard THAT before?  This going against my grain is really ticking me off!!!  LOL

Happy Hump Day, Grainiacs.  And your lesson for the day is Don't Procrastinate.  Go to the dentist...the doctor....sign up for that class you've been wanting to take....start that exercise program....take off that weight.  Do It and Do It NOW!!!

Double Ouchy!

Poor Boy- not the sandwich...my Boy had his oral surgery yesterday-- all 4 impacted wisdom teeth extracted.  My usual happy Boy is miserable which makes me miserable.  We have been changing gauze and changing gauze and changing gauze!  He was a little goofy after the surgery and then the pain set in.  I think doctors should call in the pain meds before the surgery.  We weren't able to get the prescription filled till almost 2 hours after the surgery.  The after surgery instructions recommend taking pain meds 30 minutes after the surgery.  Are you kidding me?  Both Walgreens and CVS were packed at 5 p.m.  I decided to go to another Walgreens that is close to the house (read- not close to the Dr. office).  By the time I got up to the counter, there was a 1 1/2 hour wait.  I doped Boy up on Tylenol while we waited for "the good stuff."  Just a little thought for you if you ever need oral surgery.  While you are having the work done, ask the Dr. to have the staff call in the meds for you so you can pick them up right after the surgery. Had I known our 3 p.m. appointment really didn't get going till 4 p.m. and then we wouldn't get out till 5 p.m. (a rush hour for any city!), I would have had my A-game on!  Instead Moana sat around asking "why is this taking sooooo looooooonnnnnnggggg?"  A public service announcement from yours truly....Strawberry.

Earlier that day (yesterday to be exact) I went in for a teeth cleaning.  2 cavities and a root canal prognosis later and I'm in pain too!!!!  I'm eye-ing....eying.....I-ing....whatever....I'm looking at Boy's pain meds very longingly.  Nope, I won't do it, but if it were up to Moana...yep, she'd take 'em.  Actually I want a second opinion.  I will not take a root canal lying down (unless I really need it; then I guess I WILL be lying down!).  I plan to fight it...well, tooth and nail!  The dental hygienist recommended a water pick.  It seems I have a hole in my gums and lots of crap gets caught up in there.  (No wise cracks....yes there IS a hole in my head-- You were right, Mom!)  I knew something was wrong.  I've been picking at it and scraping it with my fingernail and dental floss, but I had not thought of a water pick.  Those things aren't cheap either!  While she was cleaning, she kept exclaiming "Oh yes, I see why you are in pain!"  "Oh my goodness, look what was in there too!"  She said it looked like part of a fingernail!!!!  Okay we've got a couple of pack rats out in the yard and Boy has one in his room and obviously I'm so "anal" (remember my Freud comments from a post or two past?) that I'm hoarding fingernail parts up in my gums!

After my appointment I went right over to Walgreens to pick out a water pick.  So they must be a hot commodity....like people want to steal them or something because they were under lock and key.  The hygienist recommended Oral B.  Well, yeah, sure I could think about investing $200.00 if I weren't looking at 2 cavities/ and a root canal.  I opted for the not locked up $38.99 original Waterpik waterflosser instead.  I can't report on it yet.  It is also cordless so it needed 24 hour charge time before I can use it.  Oh waiting--- Moana will not be happy about this!

It's Tuesday, Grainiacs.  Again, have a wonderful....pain-free day.  I'm off to check on Boy.

M-O-A-N-A!!!!

Does anybody have an extra long nail I could borrow?  I would love to jab it up my gums.   Have you ever had a piece of food stuck in between your teeth or a popcorn kernel stuck up in your gums?  It just sits there and festers and hurts to the high heavens.  I've been suffering from a toothache or allergies or allergies AND a toothache.  All I know is my mouth hurts.  I have brushed and flushed and scraped to no avail.  I have popped Tylenol.  I have flushed out my sinuses.  You name it, I've inhaled it, rinsed with it, rubbed Orajel on it, jabbed it, flossed it, and repeated the whole process all over again.  I'm miserable and Moana is squawking.....loudly.

Tomorrow Boy is going to the oral surgeon to have his impacted wisdom teeth taken out (for real this time!).  Moana can think only of herself.  She's ready to push Boy aside and steal his Dr. appt; she's thinking about asking if she can take his appointment and have whatever is causing this pain taken out-- even if it's the sinuses!!! May I borrow a statement from years ago??? This is THE PITS!!!!!!  So this is how babies feel when they are teething.  Hey, there's an idea.  I think I'll bite down on one of those cold squishy teething rings.

So yeah, I'm drugged up on Tylenol, but I have my teething ring so all's good...for the moment!

Happy Monday, Grainiacs, and may yours be a pain-free one!