Fits Me to a Tea!

Recently a friend turned me on to a British murder series, Midsomer Murders based off the books by Caroline Graham.  So instead of say cleaning house or washing clothes or any myriad of things I could be doing, I'm sitting on my arse mesmerized by English cottages with beautiful gardens, British accents, and funny sayings such as "nutters and more nutters."  Can I just say the visual stimuli of this show is absolutely flooding my senses?  Unfortunately, this marketing ploy has seeped into Hubby's psyche too.  Just yesterday he said "I say, we really should consider naming our abode."  I thought up a few cutesy names for our domicile but Chaos Cottage or Hectic Hall or Messy Mansion just doesn't have the same ring as Holly House or Beehive Bungalow or Church End Cottage.

Besides giving me the wanderlust and looking into English bed and breakfasts, I have bought every brand and flavor of tea bags (thankfully I live in a small rural area) and I'm not really a tea drinker! What is it with the English and their tea?  But this morning I pulled out my little individual teapot with matching tea cup and brewed myself a wild berry zinger...no wise-crack!  Okay, I have to laugh too- this fits me to a, well, tee!

I'm glad I wasn't born before Tea!

I have been reading up on tea, especially green tea.  The University of Maryland Medical Center has an online article about the benefits of green tea.  They say tea is the most widely consumed beverage in the world.  In my world, it's Diet Coke.  Although I have reduced my consumption of the product ( I heard  Diet Coke sales plunged this past week and execs are scratching their heads in confusion), I have not cut it out completely.  I have, however, increased my consumption of tea.  Again the UMMC article states that green tea has been used as a "stimulant, diuretic (to promote the excretion of urine"-- oh yes, I can attest to that!), "astringent (to control bleeding and help heal wounds), and to improve heart health" (this strawberry is all for that!).  "Other traditional uses of green tea including treating flatulence" (no comment), "regulating body temperature and blood sugar, promoting digestion, and improving mental processes."  Good grief, why wouldn't I want to drink it?  Anything to keep me regular AND help me find my car keys.

Of course, there is another benefit to drinking green tea that many dieters have most likely already heard.  Green tea may boost metabolism and help burn fat.  So far drinking tea and sitting watching murder mysteries hasn't bolted my metabolism into action.  Although, I have pulled out the deflated exercise ball I bought many moons ago.  The makers were so thoughtful to include a tiny hand pump versus a motorized air pump.  I can sit and watch my TV while pumping little miniscule puffs of air into a 65 cm anti-burst exercise ball.  I have been working on it for days.  At this rate my great grandchildren will continue with the tradition of blowing up the damn thing one little baby's breath at a time.

and on the 7th day she weighed

Have you ever been on a diet that declares "Thou shalt expect to lose anywhere from 5 - 10 lbs thy first week?"  I don't know about you but I really do think I should be able to lose closer to the 10 lb mark.  Call me gullible; and I'm even a marketing major. I should know the tricks!  So that first week of stepping on the scales after a week of hormones and hell, I'm disappointed when the scale drops 0.3 lbs.  I'm ready to quit; most of the time I do.  If I don't get the desired results that first week, a second week of that "h & h" hardly ever follows.  BUT, I am going against my grain.  I am not going to be that person this time around.  I am a new strawberry-- hear me roar...or burp, but by golly this time is going to be different.  No more basing my success (or failure) by an inanimate object that I can pick up and toss out.  Maybe even pull the batteries out of it before I pick it up and toss it out.  So there, scale; you don't scare me anymore.  I'm bigger than you (a fact you don't let me forget!) and stronger than you and I'm not taking anymore of your crap.  I own you; you DO NOT own me!!!!  Got it?

Let's face it, the scale only reveals a part of the journey.  There are other markers along the way to show success, like my wedding ring loosening up.  Hanging in my closet is a shirt that won't quite button up.  It's one of those purchases I bought without trying on because it's my size and darn it it was on sale.  It wouldn't even be worth the gas to take it back and/or exchange it.  My goal is to button it before the season changes.  I might have to wear it backwards with a jacket, but I'm wearing it before winter!  I tried it on yesterday and if push comes to shove I could start a new trend with safety pins.  I could even use the small ones and not the humongous baby diaper sized ones.  That's a success, wouldn't you say?  So I will not worry that the scale didn't reflect a certain loss; I know I am changing my "grain."  I feel good.  I feel empowered.  I feel 3 lbs lighter than I did last week.

Cold Turkey

Losing weight has been a struggle for me.  One of the reasons is I am an all or nothing type of strawberry.  I have a lot of my father in me.  His favorite saying was "if one's good; two's better!"  I miss you, Dad.  In my overachieving way (yes, I can overachieve if I want to), I can apply this principle to just about anything, and I have.  Shoes-- how many times have I heard if you find a pair of shoes you like, get two?  I've perfected this manifesto to include clothing/ deodorant/ make-up/ office supplies/ coffee mugs/ you name it!  

"If one's good, two's better" taken to the extreme!

Why am I showing you this, dear reader?  To prove that one (oh alright, ME) can take a simple sweet saying and turn it into an out-of-control obsession.  

It's not pretty-- I know!

 My eating habits have gotten out of control.  Yet I know I can overcome obstacles.  Twenty-seven years ago I defeated my nicotine habit-- cold turkey.  The problem with kicking the eating habit cold turkey is you die.  The body need sustenance and I'm all for sustaining myself.  And that's my problem.  For me, it means cutting out certain foods that I have no control over.  I have to look at those foods like I looked at cigarettes many years ago.  Smoking was not good for my health and neither is indulging on the foods I can't portion control.  Today, I cannot stand the smell of cigarette smoke.  I will get away from it as fast as I can.  I know my pretty pink lungs are not benefiting from hanging around it and I worked too hard to quit.

If I apply this same principle to certain foods, I think I have a winning manifesto.  I am working hard to lose weight; why would I want to sabotage it?  The correct answer is "I don't."

As a parting picture...here is my cold turkey!

My turkey playing in the snow.  He loves it!

Time..Schedules..and all that Jazz

Happy Labor Day!  What do YOU have planned today?  Isn't it funny we asked each other what we have planned on a day we are supposed to get away from plans and schedules and work in general?  In my world it is funny for another reason....I don't plan!  So on ANY given day if you were to ask me what I have planned, my look would resemble a computer powering down....click....click....click....bzzzzzzz.  My epitaph will probably read: "flying by the seat of her pants."  (I really have to look up how some phrases originated.  This one has me written all over it!)   In going against my grain, I need to learn the art of scheduling and time management.

Many of my friends have this gift and can I say I am extremely envious?  What a gift!  To make a plan and stick to it.  That in a nutshell is the secret to weight loss.  Any weight loss program can work; the secret is to make a plan and stick with it.  So far, I have set my goal to cut out grains-  the breads, rice, pastas.  To me they are addictive.  Utopia would be every kind of fresh homemade bread.  There is a soup and salad restaurant in Austin that I have to cut off cold turkey.  There is just no way I could pass up the breads and muffins.  Another restaurant rings a cow bell when fresh rolls come out of the oven.  Are you freaking kidding me?  The patrons hustle up to the food bar like Pavlov's dog scrambling to the dog bowl.  I have a bread machine I bought in the 90's.  I really should get rid of it, but it has a new purpose at the moment.

A Cat Perch

Look at that face.  She is telling me "touch it and die."  I get that face when I've gone to CiCi's and loaded my plate with cinnamon rolls and a leaf of salad.  My children look at the mountain of rolls and I give them "that look!"  If I were a nice mom I would have shared; after all, they did go get them in the first place.

 So today I turn over a new leaf and begin my journey into the world of scheduling.  I feel great.  I feel empowered.  First entry into my calendar:

10 a.m.- Nap

Grain Silo

Don’t get me wrong: grains are good; grains are our friends.  It’s just that grains and this Strawberry are not good for each other.  I have a hard time saying no—to bread, that is.  I can start out eating whole grain bread and brown rice, but then I start craving monkey bread.  I know; it’s crazy!  Who in their right mind can mix up couscous and cinnamon rolls? That’s just me; and remember I’m trying to go against MY grain!  So please do not think I’m anti- healthy grains.  I’m cleaning my life from the inside out.


So now for the big news…

I did it!  I set out to make the grain cabinet and actually accomplished it.  Oh, don't look at the rest of the kitchen, though; it's a real mess.  As I'm the shorty in the family I pulled out the step stool and placed all the bread and chips on the top shelf.  I'm hoping this will deter me from late night snacking.  Note to self: I should put all the popcorn paraphernalia on the top shelf too. Now I need someone to hide the step stool.  HA.

The Grain Silo

This cabinet was a junk cabinet.  Do you have one of those?  I know of junk drawers and junk rooms and even junk sides of the bed so I figure everyone must have a junk cabinet too.  Mine was filled with cough drops, measuring cups, vitamins, a hand mixer, plastic cups, a latte machine (I use it in the winter so why have it take up space for 3 of the seasons?)-- you get the picture. No?  Since I love you I'll show you my junk cabinet.  Just beware:  this is a scary picture you are about to see.  And you thought it was safe to go into the kitchen.

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Here's a happier picture. Not quite as scary.  It is called a blank slate.

For some reason and I'm not quite sure why, I cannot start cleaning and/ or organizing till I pull everything out and have a clean slate.  I have been this way since childhood.  My mother would ask me to clean my room and by evening tide, I had pulled out every shirt, every shoe, every toy, EVERYTHING and it would be piled in the middle of my room.  How could I get into trouble?  I had an extremely clean closet!  That being said you can imagine the state of my kitchen.  Time to clean up my clean up!

It's Raining Grains!

 

Here a grain, there a grain, everywhere a grain grain.  How does one give up bread, rice, and chips and have a pantry full of them?  My house is booby-trapped.

Which brings me to today’s topic of cleaning out my pantry.  Since I don't live alone, I either have to go all commando on it or a less violent act would be to set up a “Grains Only” cabinet where hubby and son can go to get their chip fix.  If this doesn’t work and I raid the cabinet, then out they go!  The end.  When it comes to sweet and/or salty treats, I have no power.  I know this about myself so I will stop fighting my inner strawberry. 

Let me take a moment to think something out; you've probably figured it out but it takes me longer.  What happens when I do crave a certain sweet, say Reese's peanut butter cups.?  If I purchase a regular size, that's two cups.  Perhaps I could share the other with one of my family.  Wait! They hate peanut butter and chocolate.  Who are these people I call family?!?  In the past I would purchase the bag with the individual mini cups but we are talking a whole bag and forget that-- I do NOT have that much willpower.  I do have a friend that likes peanut butter cups; I could call her and share.  But would I do that?  It is possible I could buy the candy (if I get this craving...which I don't have....but if I did....) and eat one and freeze the other.  It might work.  If it happens I'll let you know!  This all just goes to show that I don't think these types of scenarios through.  It goes against my grain.  I act and think later.  Hubby is a planner; I am not.  This is the new me, though.  Yay, me (sheesh, I've been watching Disney too long).  Getting back to the pantry, I'll try to upload the finished project (but don't hold your breath).

How about you?  Do you have a “pandora’s box” that is crying out for attention?  Do you have a pantry full of "peanut butter cups?"  How about sharing them with neighbors or co-workers.  It’s a long weekend; let's do this together.

Watership Down!

Why does my stomach start screaming “I’m hungry” the moment I decide to change my dietary choices?  It is as if my body goes into panic mode.  Every cell, every fiber of my being screams “Dairy Queen Ice Cream!!”  I recall in earlier years when I decided to diet.  That first day I was off to a good start but something would always happened before nightfall—I blew my diet.  Our house was close to a Dairy Queen so my reasoning was “I’ve already blown it so I might as well have a blizzard today because tomorrow I’m getting back on that diet and who knows when I’ll be able to have another blizzard!” Ah the resolve, the reasoning, the idiocy of it.  In one week I gained 10 pounds because I was going on a diet!

A friend recently gave me sound advice (if only she had said it 10 years and many pounds ago).  I’ll share it because quite frankly I had never thought this way before.  Here it is:  don’t beat yourself up about an infraction; ask yourself how quickly can you get back on track once you’ve blown your diet?  Ta Da!!  Now why didn’t I ask myself that years ago?  Because it goes against my grain, that’s why.  Just like my stomach craves chocolate when my head says carrots, I am not programmed to automatically think logically.  I get it.  I’m a girl that wants to have fun and then pay the consequences later…like the credit card.  I guess that is a different topic for a different day.  This blog is about making right choices…the ones that won’t land right on my hips or back.

I am not planning to blow my eating plan today but if by chance I do, I will remember this sage advice and get back on track as swiftly as possible.

For now, I will satiate my body and drink more water because I KNOW I am not hungry. Water, water, water.  Just call me “Strawberry.”

Quote from SparkNotes: Strawberry -  The only rabbit to leave the warren of the snares. Strawberry is larger than the other rabbits but he knows little of the wild. Eager to learn and help the others, he designs the Honeycomb and shares his knowledge of building with them (my emphases).

Yep, just call me Strawberry.