My stepdad called and said he was worried about my Mom; it was the afternoon and she was still in her nightgown. As a person who loves wearing pjs around the house, I said "okay, I'm not seeing this as a problem!" It's true, my Mom did not usually walk around in her pajamas like I do. Maybe it is a generational thing, but I LOVE my pajamas....I'm wearing them now and it is 7:00 p.m. I switched into them at 3:30 p.m. I didn't have anywhere to go....wasn't expecting anyone-- don't come over unannounced!
Back to Mom, she had an EEG and CT scan last week. The Dr. called and said that one side (I'm assuming that is one side of her brain?! I'm getting my info secondhand) was normal and the other wasn't abnormal but was consistent with a woman her age. Stepdad sounded perky for the first time in a long time. So he's planning a motor home trip! LOL It's still early in the planning so we shall see if it comes about. It is giving him hope; I personally think my mom could care less. She is at that stage of the game. She wakes. She talks if talked to. She goes to the Dr. She gets her hair done weekly if someone drives her. She doesn't drive. I just found out she got lost several months ago going to church! She doesn't attend committee meetings. She cannot be held responsible to serve because she just can't remember.
Mother's Day is coming up. On the one hand I am so thankful I'll be able to wish my Mom Happy Mother's Day. On the other hand, I'm not sure she'll remember!
I am traveling into un-chartered waters although I am having déjà vu. Years ago, I helped care for my grandmother when she started to lose her memory and couldn't be left alone. My children will also remember that time and I think they will be shocked when they see their Nonie now. I'm sure they will feel a bit of déjà vu too.
Not to end on a downer....I went to WW today and lost. I pray it continues. I need to remember ME!
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Rethink
There seems to be a miscommunication I texted to my friend; that is not at all what I was saying.
I love modern technology....let me be perfectly clear about that! I love writing and texting and of course talking on the phone. I love the internet and looking things up and falling down rabbit holes while looking OTHER things up! I just don't love that I can't look that person in the eye while texting so they understand what I am saying....especially when temperatures are rising and well, communication breaks down. A little voice said "don't respond." But the bigger voice typed away! LOL
I think my brain and body are having a breakdown in communication too. That brain voice that says "don't buy that humongous bag of M&Ms because the body will crave and devour them!"
Here's the funny thing. I start out great in the morning. I have been talking about healthy breakfasts and eating a healthy breakfast and by golly, I succeed at those healthy breakfasts! Yesterday I went out for breakfast and skipped the bread (yes! no tortillas!!!) and the fat-loaded hash browns. The hash browns took up half of the plate! So I know I have it in me. I resolved to eat healthy breakfasts instead of skipping them. Breakfast is the food of champions, I remember typing. It is embedded in my brain and my body accepts it.
Soooo.....you see where this is going.....my next challenge and mantra and goal is healthy lunches. No more quick stops to Whataburger to grab something to "tide me over." Do you do that? The reasoning is crazy on my part but I will stop off at Sonic and grab mozzarella sticks to tide me over and then I'll go home and make a lunch! Crazy. So, no more eating out on the road. If I do go to Whataburger, I'll have to go inside and eat a salad.
I love modern technology....let me be perfectly clear about that! I love writing and texting and of course talking on the phone. I love the internet and looking things up and falling down rabbit holes while looking OTHER things up! I just don't love that I can't look that person in the eye while texting so they understand what I am saying....especially when temperatures are rising and well, communication breaks down. A little voice said "don't respond." But the bigger voice typed away! LOL
I think my brain and body are having a breakdown in communication too. That brain voice that says "don't buy that humongous bag of M&Ms because the body will crave and devour them!"
Here's the funny thing. I start out great in the morning. I have been talking about healthy breakfasts and eating a healthy breakfast and by golly, I succeed at those healthy breakfasts! Yesterday I went out for breakfast and skipped the bread (yes! no tortillas!!!) and the fat-loaded hash browns. The hash browns took up half of the plate! So I know I have it in me. I resolved to eat healthy breakfasts instead of skipping them. Breakfast is the food of champions, I remember typing. It is embedded in my brain and my body accepts it.
Soooo.....you see where this is going.....my next challenge and mantra and goal is healthy lunches. No more quick stops to Whataburger to grab something to "tide me over." Do you do that? The reasoning is crazy on my part but I will stop off at Sonic and grab mozzarella sticks to tide me over and then I'll go home and make a lunch! Crazy. So, no more eating out on the road. If I do go to Whataburger, I'll have to go inside and eat a salad.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Hmmm
The journey
begins with that single step. My WW
journey has not been without its detours and bumps along the way. Sort of like life.
Yesterday I
started my journey back at a meeting. It
was a good meeting. No judgments. No tsk tsks.
Just a group of people on the same journey for different reasons.
What are those
reasons?
Health
a Reunion
Vanity
Necessity
To be an
example to others
Somewhere on this journey we have to find that one reason to keep us going? The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The lighthouse pointing to safety. Pick a metaphor! What keeps one going on a weight-loss journey if there is no urgency?
Personally I don’t think I’ve found my reason. Somewhere along the way, I lose my resolve. Other things pop up and I just.give.up.
Today's journey will be one of deep discovery. My ME is focusing on me in a new way. Psychologist? Counselor? Anybody???
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Lift Off
That is what my la-z-boy chair is saying. She is finally getting her fat a$$ off me!
Yesterday I claimed a month of ME.
I began with a healthy breakfast. A nagging thought kept popping up; I kept thinking that I needed to prepare a healthy breakfast and keep in the fridge...just in case. It did not happen. Thankfully I did not need to have one so TODAY- Without fail-- I WILL have a healthy breakfast in the fridge...just in case.
Lunch was a pre-made salad. Hubby bought one the other day for me and I claimed it.
Dinner consisted of rotisserie chicken (again pre-made) and avocado and cheese. Scrumptious and easy for the hands.
My head stayed in the zone. Of course I had other things to think about but My Eating (me) was up front and personal.
My heart got a good workout too! I went for a bicycle ride, worked out on the glider, and got all but 500 steps in. All in all a GREAT DAY!!!
dum dum dum DUMM!!!
But today I go back to a meeting. I step on Kaa and let it (I can't remember if my Kaa is male or female so today Kaa is an IT.) bite the heck out of my feet. I can take it, Kaa. I promise I won't be as heavy next week as I am this week.
In anticipation of the meeting I re-opened the "Your Plan Guide." Right on page 1 it says "Treat yourself with respect, patience, and kindness." Think about it: if your friend fell off the wagon (no matter what the wagon was), how would you talk to that friend? Would you tear them apart; chastise them; say "I told you so, LOSER!"??? No way.....or.....would you? In that case I do NOT want you for a friend!!!! ;)
There are 4 bullet points on page 1 of that guide and I'll summarize (I do not want to get hit with a plagiary lawsuit! But just in case, this is ALL from the WW Planning Guide, check it out!):
No ifs about this one.....m.o.v.e.! Get up and move your body. Slowly if need be but work up some exercise routine. Pull out the old Jane Fonda VHS and "come on, you can do it" she mimics seductively.
Show up and be in the moment whether you are attending a WW meeting, calling a friend to keep yourself accountable or journaling. Just do it!
And take care of yourself. Say nice things to yourself. Treat yourself to a manicure/ pedicure/shoes/ nap/ book/lunch with friends....pick something for just you and let me hear you say it: Just Do IT!!
And here is a challenge for myself (and possibly you?), for 4 weeks or 28 days or April 19- May 17 I will follow these 4 ideas from WW and Lift Off. Will you join me?
Yesterday I claimed a month of ME.
I began with a healthy breakfast. A nagging thought kept popping up; I kept thinking that I needed to prepare a healthy breakfast and keep in the fridge...just in case. It did not happen. Thankfully I did not need to have one so TODAY- Without fail-- I WILL have a healthy breakfast in the fridge...just in case.
Lunch was a pre-made salad. Hubby bought one the other day for me and I claimed it.
Dinner consisted of rotisserie chicken (again pre-made) and avocado and cheese. Scrumptious and easy for the hands.
My head stayed in the zone. Of course I had other things to think about but My Eating (me) was up front and personal.
My heart got a good workout too! I went for a bicycle ride, worked out on the glider, and got all but 500 steps in. All in all a GREAT DAY!!!
dum dum dum DUMM!!!
But today I go back to a meeting. I step on Kaa and let it (I can't remember if my Kaa is male or female so today Kaa is an IT.) bite the heck out of my feet. I can take it, Kaa. I promise I won't be as heavy next week as I am this week.
In anticipation of the meeting I re-opened the "Your Plan Guide." Right on page 1 it says "Treat yourself with respect, patience, and kindness." Think about it: if your friend fell off the wagon (no matter what the wagon was), how would you talk to that friend? Would you tear them apart; chastise them; say "I told you so, LOSER!"??? No way.....or.....would you? In that case I do NOT want you for a friend!!!! ;)
There are 4 bullet points on page 1 of that guide and I'll summarize (I do not want to get hit with a plagiary lawsuit! But just in case, this is ALL from the WW Planning Guide, check it out!):
- track
- move
- show up
- take care
No ifs about this one.....m.o.v.e.! Get up and move your body. Slowly if need be but work up some exercise routine. Pull out the old Jane Fonda VHS and "come on, you can do it" she mimics seductively.
Show up and be in the moment whether you are attending a WW meeting, calling a friend to keep yourself accountable or journaling. Just do it!
And take care of yourself. Say nice things to yourself. Treat yourself to a manicure/ pedicure/shoes/ nap/ book/lunch with friends....pick something for just you and let me hear you say it: Just Do IT!!
And here is a challenge for myself (and possibly you?), for 4 weeks or 28 days or April 19- May 17 I will follow these 4 ideas from WW and Lift Off. Will you join me?
Monday, April 18, 2016
Where are we now
The month of March was Mom month, it seems.
The month of April was/is Friend month.
My life is now identified in themes....Mom.....friends.
I'm a bit apprehensive about May or June or July.
My Macedonian daughter is getting married in September. In the 90's I promised I would go to Macedonia for her wedding whenever that might be. While hubby was in seminary that promise was always in the back of my mind. When we moved to a rural area and finances were tight, that promise was always in the back of my mind. Now the health of parents is in the forefront and that promise I made in the 90's is still looming in my mind and the reality that I must possibly break that promise.
The twitch in my eye is a constant reminder to the stress I'm feeling. I am receiving almost daily calls to the decline of my mother's health. My last call was greeted with "I'm worried so I'm calling you so you can worry too." I'm not complaining; it is what it is. The phrase "life is not for sissies" is so true.
So where am I now? On a health kick, that's where. March was taking care of Mom and with it came stress eating. I had too much on my mind and trying to meal plan was not in the cards (or so I told myself). April was happy eating with friends and enjoying our time together which also meant my meal planning went out the window and a devil- may- care attitude took over.
Now is the month of Me, er May, NO...ME!!! Time to start taking care of me. An adult Sunday school curriculum I study has 3 different components: Head, Heart, Hands.
My new meal plan will include foods healthy to my head; healthy to my heart; and easy for my hands. I like quick and easy. If I have to engage in a lot of meal prep and thinking....well hello Whataburger!
Today I am challenging myself to take care of ME (My Eating).
ME- My Eating will start with a healthy breakfast. No more running for a breakfast taco or whatever I deem quick and easy.
Breakfast for ME:
The month of April was/is Friend month.
My life is now identified in themes....Mom.....friends.
I'm a bit apprehensive about May or June or July.
My Macedonian daughter is getting married in September. In the 90's I promised I would go to Macedonia for her wedding whenever that might be. While hubby was in seminary that promise was always in the back of my mind. When we moved to a rural area and finances were tight, that promise was always in the back of my mind. Now the health of parents is in the forefront and that promise I made in the 90's is still looming in my mind and the reality that I must possibly break that promise.
The twitch in my eye is a constant reminder to the stress I'm feeling. I am receiving almost daily calls to the decline of my mother's health. My last call was greeted with "I'm worried so I'm calling you so you can worry too." I'm not complaining; it is what it is. The phrase "life is not for sissies" is so true.
So where am I now? On a health kick, that's where. March was taking care of Mom and with it came stress eating. I had too much on my mind and trying to meal plan was not in the cards (or so I told myself). April was happy eating with friends and enjoying our time together which also meant my meal planning went out the window and a devil- may- care attitude took over.
Now is the month of Me, er May, NO...ME!!! Time to start taking care of me. An adult Sunday school curriculum I study has 3 different components: Head, Heart, Hands.
My new meal plan will include foods healthy to my head; healthy to my heart; and easy for my hands. I like quick and easy. If I have to engage in a lot of meal prep and thinking....well hello Whataburger!
Today I am challenging myself to take care of ME (My Eating).
ME- My Eating will start with a healthy breakfast. No more running for a breakfast taco or whatever I deem quick and easy.
Breakfast for ME:
- oatmeal (I got off the oatmeal train a while back. I was going to go all Atkins again and get off grains. I'm declaring oatmeal to be a healthy grain and a quick ME breakfast).
- yogurt (another quick and easy ME breakfast plus a good source of calcium)
- blueberries (a "head" food. blueberries are claimed to be good for the memory...sign me up!)
- eggs (super quick and if I make bacon (don't judge!) ahead of time and have on hand...voila..Super yummy!)
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