Para-pros- what???

 This morning I received a humorous email from my word-horse Graini-aunt. I decided to share the ones in her email and then find a few more to make it a perfect 20 paraprosdokians.  I would not have considered myself OCD but for the very reason of having to make a perfect 20 paraprosdokians.....yep, I'm OCD.

 

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
 

Enjoy!

 

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

 

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

 

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism . To steal from many is research.

 

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put  'DOCTOR'.

 

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive . You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..

 

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

 

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

 

18.  Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

19.  Evening news is where they begin with "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

 

and finally.....

20.  A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

 

Thank you, Graini-Aunt!!!