Thursday, June 20, 2013

A Light

I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel!  I have one powerpoint presentation complete; well, I need photos of the event but once that event is done...the ppt goes to my advisor and it is complete.  I have started two final papers.  One is a powerpoint and the other is a double-spaced Arial font 12" size 8 - 10 page paper.  One is close to completion and the other....well, okay...not so complete.  My heart is still racing and I'm still gorging on ice cream- what can I say?  I'm an emotional eater so DON'T MESS WITH ME!!!!  ( smiley face)

My house is a wreck.  Cat fur, dust bunnies, boxes, papers, magazines, shoes, towels, recyclables.... you name it and it is probably on my floor or in a corner.  Do I care? Heck, yes.  Can I do anything about it right now? Heck no!  We just came back from saying Good-bye to a "light" in Rural USA.  Carol was a friend and the mother of my boys' good, good friend.  It was a hard trip but we wanted to be there and Rev. Hubby officiated her service.  We got to see friends but we were also grieving for a loss.  One thing about Carol; she loved people and she loved to care for her family.  She was a meticulous house cleaner.  I think she might cringe to know that I have a sign right by the front door which states that a clean house is a sign of a wasted life.  She proved me wrong.  She had a very full 55 year old life.  She was able to garden and can and share her surplus with others.  I received shelled pecans from her and not a small snack size ziploc either.  I received a huge gallon size bag full of shelled pecans.  I was not the only person to receive them either.  I can't imagine how many pecans she shelled!!  While undergoing chemo, this "light" missed only 2 days of work.  She refused to let cancer get her down.  Last Christmas she made a quilt for her brother-in-law, Josh.  It was pieced with old t-shirts from her deceased father-in-law/ Josh's father.  Can you imagine?  Quilting and working at home and office AND going through chemo???  She was amazing.  I really have to wonder why child molesters and haters live amongst us yet a beautiful life was taken by a disease that should have a cure by now.  It isn't fair.  Life is not fair.  But God is fair.  Only our definition of fair is not God's definition and I have to remember that.  The poor will always be with us; the sick will always be with us.  What makes the difference is our response.  Will I be bitter and say life isn't fair that haters and child molesters live but Carol doesn't?  Will I choose to blame God for everything and not take responsibility for myself and care of others?

He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?
(Micah 6:8)

Do you notice there is a question mark at the end of this passage?  Micah is not demanding that people do these things; he is asking "will you?"  It is a good reminder that we have a choice.  We are not puppets; God has given us free will to choose.  I will celebrate a life lost to cancer and pray that a cure is discovered once and for all.  I only wish I had a medical mind to discover the cure myself.  So I will do what I know how to do...support the cancer society and pray.

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