I feel perfect....

Oh so perfect.  I feel perfect so I can't get anything done!  It doesn't exactly fit "perfectly" with the West Side Story score but in my case, it is true.  Most of the time I am so overwhelmed and paralyzed by my perfectionism that I don't get anything done.  Does this sound off?  I know I am a closet perfectionist.  I have a mental picture of how I want my house to look or how I should look.  I stare at it/ myself and see that it/I doesn't/don't look anywhere near how I want it to look and I get caught up in what to do first and consequently I don't get it done.  As far as the house is concerned, moving has helped a tad with this.  My front area and living room and dining room are remaining clutter-free but the pictures on the wall aren't exactly how I want them and so the living room remains the same and I am not satisfied with it.  I don't have the money to change it out and really the rest of the house needs loads of work and I'm getting ready to leave for my on-campus time in VA so let's face it: why start a project I won't be able to finish for a while.

Isn't that a vicious cycle I have worked up in my head?  Truth be told, I have worked the same dialogue out with just about everything.  Does that make me lazy?  No, I've got plenty to do.  My head is crammed pack with ideas and thoughts.  I seem to keep busy and walk and walk and do and do but I'm not getting anywhere of any substance or contentment. 

So this is where the perfectionism ceases to exist.  Today.  No more excuses.  No more thoughts of giving up.  No more defeatism.  Yes, I have lots of weight to lose.  Yes, I need to de-clutter the house and my belly.  But it will take baby-steps and routines.

Part of my problem is I pile too much on myself.  Years and years and years ago, I told a male co-worker that my new year's resolution was to exercise more, quit smoking, and lose 20 pounds.  He said you are setting yourself up for failure.  I'll never forget that.  I had too many huge resolutions on my list.  Losing 20 pounds when I was about a whole 140 pounds to begin with was not attainable.  I had never weighed 120 pounds for any amount of time...even in high school so I couldn't expect to get to 120 five years after high school.  I worked with smokers and we were allowed to smoke in the drive-through bank where I worked so that resolution was going to take some willpower and probably a transfer in the bank.  Let's face it...ex-smokers are the worst when it comes to secondhand smoke, right?  Or at least I am all militant about it!  The exercise resolution would have been a good one, but this strawberry is still to today struggling to get out and move my bones.  So you see, it is easy to set resolutions but to truly want to work on and keep them, I have to resolve to do one....not three....or possibly not two.  I need just one resolution to work on.  That is a baby-step.  Once that resolution becomes permanent and second nature, then and only then can I add a second resolution.

Does this hit a nerve with you?  Can you push aside your perfectionism (even if you don't think you are a perfectionist) and join me?

Take this little quiz from the Sink Reflection book: (her quiz has to do with clutter and cleaning up the house, but I think it can apply to dieting too and so I'll tweak it some):

• Do you find yourself not knowing what to do first or where to begin with the dieting?  Should I do Atkins or WW or South Beach?
• Are you constantly starting over?  Losing that tracker?  Sabotaging the diet and vowing to start over tomorrow?
• Do you feel overwhelmed/ tired/ helpless?
• Have you always struggled with weight?
• Do you think you are the only person to suffer through this?

You are not alone.  Please don't take the attitude of "What's the use?"  One doable/ achievable resolution can be the ticket to getting out of this vicious cycle (I'm banking on it!).  Baby-step.  One baby-step at a time.  Many psychologists say it takes 21 days to establish a habit.  Today is January 2, 2013.  In 21 days it will be January 23, 2013.  Can we promise to establish a healthy routine based on that one resolution and do it? 

A few of you have written saying you are starting (back) on WW?  WW now has a link on their e-tools page that includes routines.  Don't worry if you aren't on WW.  This will work with anybody struggling to lose a few or a lot.  Their definition of routines is:  "simple, easy tasks that help you take the guesswork out of healthy choices."  Anything you do without thinking about it is a routine.  For example Hubby eating the same breakfast every morning!  Here is a few examples from WW: 

• walk at least 5 minutes each hour
• eat breakfast every day
• eat all your meals at the table
• drink a large glass of water before eating
• eat veggies or fruit with every snack
• eat 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night

I am walking for 15 minutes around my house every morning.  I have set a track and for the past 3 days I have walked.  I can do this in my pjs or fully clothed.  The good news is I'm moving my bones.  It is a baby-step and I can't think of any excuse NOT to do it.  It is convenient; I'm already at home; I don't have to get dressed; no one will see me (I wish I didn't have this complex!) and most important it is a baby-step to my exercise goal.  All it takes is that first step.  What is a routine you could claim for the next 21 days?  Send them to me and lets overcome this paralyzing  perfectionism one baby-step at a time.

P.S.  My sink was shiny clean this morning and yes it did put me in a good mood.