My Enabler

I do not know how many of you have been on diet programs, but the "almost" first thing they say is "find a buddy."  There is just something about struggling through this taxing time if you have someone to commiserate, er, joyfully get healthy with.  You can lift the spirits and help keep that person on track and they (hopefully) reciprocate.  Being accountable to someone/something is critical for weight loss.  Now, no sending hate mail.  I do realize there are some highly abnormal people out there who can do it alone...and quite frankly I and the rest of the fat world are in awe of you!  BUT, for me.... I NEED A BUDDY!!!!

So let me share a dialogue Hubby and I had last night.

Me: after this weekend I need to get back on track...no excuses.

Hubby:  Why don't you wait till your studies are all done.  (not a question; a statement!)

Me: Uh, I want to lose weight before graduation, not after.

Hubby: You think it will show under your robe?

Me: It will show in my face.  Plus, I won't be wearing my robe all weekend!!!

Hubby: (smile)

Okay Weight Loss Class 101:  What's wrong with this picture?????

Traffic Update

Beware on the road, Grainiacs!

There is a crazy driver with the vanity plates STrAwBeRrY out there so keep your eyes open.

I do not know what has gotten into me but I have become some deranged, aggressive motorist lately.

It could be the fact that everyone in my area has seemed to received their driver's license as a prize out of a cereal box.  NO ONE is looking out for the other guy!!!

Just yesterday three people pulled out in front of me as if I were not even there.  The first thing was when a car stopped at a red light looked right and left of himself but not in front of himself!  Oncoming traffic must have slipped his mind.  Second one happened as I was traveling down a road with a speed limit of 45 mph and a car coming out of his neighborhood rolled through his stop sign and sauntered in front of me only to immediately turn left.  Problem: there was a car coming so he had to stop AND there was no one behind me!  Now tell me, why did he have to pull out in front of me only to stop?   Third thing: waiting in line for gas.  The motorcycle was facing me so as he was moving out a SUV whipped into the spot I was waiting for!!!  How many of you have read "Fried Green Tomatoes?"  Wasn't there an instant when our mild-mannered heroine turned into CraZy Towanda and continued to bang into the young thing's car that took her parking spot?  Well, I was ready to grab the gas hose and not let that SUV fill up.  Instead I sat there and then honked....of course to no avail.  The idiot boy jumped out and walked into the convenience store to pay.  I was still steaming that night and thought up different scenarios....like whipping my little car sideways and using my card at the pump and filling up while he was trying to pay inside!  Or getting into his car and popping it into neutral and pushing it backwards (thinking that one through a little more was not such a good idea....what if it kept going and hit another car??).

In other words, I need to realize I live in an area with idiots for drivers and I have to calm myself, laugh it off, and say a prayer that Towanda remains in a book and not lived out by me.  (Did you notice all three instances involved men drivers???  The first male idiot was a 70-ish man; second idiot was 50-ish; third idiot was 20-ish.  There's no hope!)

Keep safe out there, Grainiacs. 

Re-Purpose Me, Please

Junk, junk, and more junk.  I'm not talking about my house this time!  Our churches are filled with junk too....and no I'm talking about the people, but that IS a post for another time!!!  (you know what I'm talking about)

Our Sunday school classrooms-- maybe yours too-- are filled with beautiful upright grand pianos that can't carry a tune in a bucket.  These dinosaurs have been sitting in some hot classroom for centuries but heaven forbid we get rid of them!!!  While on campus this past semester another educator was bemoaning the fact that old pianos are cluttering up her Sunday school classes too.  The church does not want to kick them to the curb (sort to speak) and yet, they are dead reminders of a time gone by.

Did you know that the Sunday school idea was born out of a need in England when child labor laws were not yet established.  Poor children had to work in the mills to bring home the bacon money for their families.  Worried about the plight of the children a certain educator (his name escapes me...forgive me, "What's Your Name!") began educating the children on Sundays.  When the Purists came to America, they continued this schooling in the churches making sure the good Purist children knew the way of the Lord.  No wonder we can't get rid of old pianos that no longer work, have keys that stick or are missing, and cannot be tuned less the strings pop.  As good Americans every Sunday we sing "Tradition!!!"

Pinterest has great ideas for re-purposing old pianos.  Now hear me out, if the piano is fixable, by all means bring it back to life.  I am referring to those old relics that are sitting in a corner gathering dust and vermin or are stored away in some basement gathering dust and vermin and MOLD!  What is better?  Is kicking it to the alley or curb a better solution?  Or honoring the time and re-purposing it into something usable?  

Like a "piano bar?" 

Taken off of Pinterest site

 Some people are soo creative and what a great idea.  Okay, not into piano bars, well possibly a desk or headboard or piece of art.  If you are not linked in to Pinterest, you should be.  Just think!  You could be spending countless hours looking at ideas to re-purpose old pianos in your church!!!

I see the light

Ever feel like you are a prisoner in your home?  I am feeling that way today.  First off, I have to start writing for my theology final.  I did get my theory final done and turned in yesterday.  Oh, in case you didn’t know, I just got back from my FINAL on-campus time at the seminary.  No more flying to Richmond, VA unless I want to; hear that?  I don’t HAVE to anymore.  Yipee and whoo hoo.  That light at the end of the seminary tunnel is about to pass me by.  I graduate in May of this year!!!  Can you tell I’m happy?

So back to my prisoner story.  I have many things to do and I’m feeling the pressure to whip out this FINAL final.  One done; one to go.  Second reason is dear daughter and friend drove in from 9 hour Tim-buck-too yesterday and they are sleeping.  I’m trying to be vewy vewy qwiet. Shhhhhh

Well, Grainiacs, back to reading John Calvin.  If you are suffering from insomnia, download Calvin’s Institutes and start reading….guarantee you’ll sleep…unless you are a Calvinist and then you’ll make a pot of coffee and snuggle in with your favorite blanket and enjoy a good read (personally, I think you’re crazy!).

Tootles and I’ll be writing a tad more later.

just gotta trust the system

Last night I waited and watched with trepidation the verdict concerning Ferguson, MO.  I knew the revelation would not be acceptable by either camp.  The plain fact is lives were changed forever that fateful night.  The Brown family lost a loved one to violence.  The Wilson family had their lives changed forever due to violence.  Before hearing the facts, the world had made up its mind.  Yes, Brown was shot down dead in cold blood; No, Wilson acted in self-defense.  I will not form an opinion.  I have not read the evidence like the Grand Jury did.  I have not heard eye- witness testimony. I have not seen the autopsy reports.  I will admit that statistics show there are more persons of color inhabiting our penal system.  I will admit that there is still in the 21st century much racial tension and discrimination.  We need to fix that.  We need to find solutions and use our minds and our voices and not our weapons and strength.  Children are STILL being bullied-- to the point of death.  The saying "Why can't we just all get along" is a riddle rather than a statement.  Why can't we all get along?  We need to fix that.

For now I will grieve with the families of Michael Brown and Darren Wilson.  In the blink of an eye, their lives will never be the same and unlike maybe you or I, the whole world is watching them.

Gracious God, why do you love us so?  We are flawed people.  We have misused and abused the precious gifts you have given us.  We would rather fight and bully one another rather than sit at table at talk about what divides us.  We would prefer to use our great wealth on ourselves instead of being the solution to hunger and poverty.  Forgive us, LORD.  In your loving kindness show us the way this Advent season as we wait for the one true perfect example, Christ Jesus.
   Comfort the families and friends affected by violence.  May we strive to end hunger and poverty in our midst and in the world.  Help us to realize Heaven on Earth and seek it daily as we fight for peace, justice, and reconciliation.  Amen (May it be so).

It's a paradox

It's a paradox- plain and simple.  I can explain the name of the blog in simple terms: it's a paradox!  I tried going against the grain by not eating grains.  I try daily to going against the grain when my heart and head tell me to do one thing and I resolved NOT to do that one thing but do it anyway!  It's absurd; I know this.  So today I am sharing a delicious bread recipe I doctored (I will give you the original one too).  YES!!! It's a grain recipe!!!! I HAD to try it before I gave it away.  All I can say is YUM!!!  I was looking for a nice gift to share at my Thanksgiving table and I have it.

So here goes.  Sorry to those of you success stories who have given up bread.  I'm not one of them right now.  I will admit to going against the grain on this simply because I didn't have or couldn't find the exact ingredients....thus going against the grain with my substitutes.  That counts, doesn't it?

The whole house smells divine!

Orange Spice Loaves
 
My recipe:

2 packages (7 oz each) Apple Cinnamon Muffin Mix
1/2 cup golden raisins
2 eggs
1/2 cup orange juice concentrate, thawed
1/2 cup sweet orange marmalade, divided + a little more
4 tablespoons canola oil
1/2 cup whole milk
1 heaping teaspoon ground allspice

In case you want to see the actual items I used.  I do not receive any compensation from these companies...just saying.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a medium bowl, combine muffin mix and raisins.  Add eggs, orange juice concentrate, 6 Tbsp orange marmalade, oil, milk and allspice; stir until well-blended.  Line mini muffin tins with muffin liners or grease and flour.  Bake 20 minutes or until a toothpick (or knife- I couldn't find any toothpicks!) inserted in center comes out clean.  (After the 20 min. baking time, I also pressed gently to make sure the loaf bounced back and my finger did not sink into a hot gooey mess.)  Remove loaves from pan and place on wire rack.  Spread remaining orange marmalade (I scooped more out of the jar...I mean why be chinchy?) evenly over tops of hot loaves.  Cool completely. Store in an airtight container.  Made 9 mini loaves

The original recipe calls for:
2 packages (7 oz each) bran muffin mix
1/2 cup raisins
2 eggs
1/2 cup orange juice concentrate, thawed
1/2 cup orange marmalade, divided
4 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons ground allspice

The original said to grease and flour 4 loaf pans measuring 3 1/4 x 5 3/4-inch. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.  It yields 4 mini loaves. 

Did I mention how wonderful smelling the house is today?  I might have to hurry and bag those babies.  

Until my next paradoxical post, have a good day, Grainiacs!

For all the saints

Last night the ghouls and ghosts and walking dead came out to play.  Our Trunk or Treat was a huge success.  We more than doubled cars AND two neighbors from across the street decorated their cars and joined in the fun (even if they did stay across the street!).  Last year about 30 kids came; this year over 150 children stopped by to say "Trick or Treat" and "thank you."  Several of our cars just had the candy out in their trunk and told the kids to get some.  Every time I looked the children took one piece of candy.  I was so impressed with them.  I thought for sure some would sweep the whole thing into their bags!  Of course I did hear the others' horror stories, but our trick or treaters were sweet little kids.

A Walker!!!!

Cosmos will NOT be left out!!!

note to self: don't dye your hair black!

I want to thank all the saints who have helped mold me into the person I am.  No!  I'm not blaming you!!!!